The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Berejikilian Government has been forced to defend yet another controversial purchase today, this time it's a 1986 Suzuki Mightyboy with fucked pistol rings and a worn-out clutch. The Advocate can reveal that Premier Gladys Berejiklian personally approved the $6.9m purchase of the high-kilometer micro-ute before ordering her staff to destroy all evidence that the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Uh oh, sorry serial killers, it's not open season in South Australia anymore. The bad news comes as the people of the South face the consequences of a big old outbreak this week. Seventeen new cases have now been linked to a cluster in Adelaide's northern suburbs, with four active cases also announced yesterday. This means that serial...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One of the biggest rural epicentres in the Wide Bay–Burnett region has rebranded itself today, with a town motto for fitting for its rough and tumble character. Despite being famous for hosting one of the friendliest country music festivals in Australia, the town of Gympie is also known for it's rather punchy reputation in the tourist off-season. The town's 'throw-first-ask-questions-later'...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Adelaide is the new epicentre of the nation's boomer remover outbreak as seventeen new cases of the spicy cough are recorded across South Australia overnight. Contact tracers and authorities are scrambling to gain control over the outbreak, which Federal Health Minister Beige Hunt labelled 'concerning'. The outbreak source is reportedly from Melbourne, who played the reverse...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A relatively worldly Darling Downs man has today employed a secret technique used by those who don't know how to pick things up with chopsticks. Nick Gleeson (31) is very well aware that these eating utensils have been used in virtually all of East Asia for over 6000 years, but he just can't get it right. "From my understanding, the chopsticks were first...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A damning report into the local hospitality industry has outlined a number of shocking shortcomings - including the fact that nobody knows why each licensed premises in the wider Betoota area has a small television playing extreme sports clips on repeat. Peter Godwin, from the Office of Alcohol and Gaming, handed down his findings today to the local shire...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local grandson has been distraught to learn that the blue tub in his nonna's freezer is actually just rock-frozen tomato sauce, not the neapolitan ice cream he was expecting. After being given free licence on his maternal grandmother's fridge, the 7-year-old went straight to the freezer to sauce for frozen treats that nonna sometimes buys after seeing...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT For ex-Prime Ministers of Australia, job opportunities are as plentiful as they are rewarding with many choosing to be a foreign diplomat or full time rich person. With this logic in mind, it is difficult to understand why former PM Kevin Rudd was spotted fraternising with Melbourne Sudanse gangs according to Sky News commentator Andrew Bolt. Bolt claims to have...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact As NSW Premier, Gladys Berejiklian continues a proud tradition upheld by almost every single NSW Premier in the past 30 years; being investigated by ICAC.  Now, as the investigation into her dealings with disgraced former MP Daryl Maguire continues, a potential replacement for the role of NSW Premier has emerged in the form of disgraced former Auburn Deputy Mayor, Salim...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact As the ongoing ICAC investigation into Gladys Berejiklian has not yet resulted in a dismissal or hasty resignation as is traditional for the role of NSW Premier, even those in her own faction are concerned that she may now consider herself infallible.  “It’s all gone to her head” said an MP who wished to remain anonymous. “She’s just...