The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A group of Australian workers has today revoked their coveted essential worker status, and headed home to lockdown this afternoon. The huge decision comes for a significant number of tradesman, who handed in their essential worker cards late this morning after a single drop of rain landed on their union run sight. With lockdowns and outbreaks all to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After managing to keep his expectations for the English football team in check for the better part of 6 months, a local Pom has finally decided to go all in today. With the scars from the 2018 World Cup starting to fade just enough, French Quarter Englishman Scott Doyle has confirmed this morning that 'it's coming home.' The...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's highest ranking anti-masker has today put forward an interesting suggestion to the Prime Minister. Barnaby Joyce has suggested to an isolating Scott Morrison, that he should have a look at purchasing some of those light machines Pete Evans was going on about. This comes after the Deputy Prime Minister in a system where politicians make the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As Sydney and its surroundings finish up another day of lockdown, residents of the region are hoping for better news in the coming days. With the majority of the locked-down residents feeling constricted by not being able to leave their homes and suburbs unless, for essential reasons, plenty of eagle-eyed residents have been keeping an eye out to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Barnaby Joyce has reportedly caused a bit of a scene this afternoon, after a heated run-in with a Bunnings' employee. The Deputy Prime Minister who was fined for not wearing a mask at a petrol station in Armidale this week has raised eyebrows again, by giving a local retail employee a bit of a rundown on international human...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The man in charge of the country while the boss is away is today preparing a vicious piece to camera. Barnaby Joyce, the returned Deputy Prime Minister of Australia is reportedly firing up for a selfie style video after being fined for not wearing a mask. The Leader of the Nationals who is filling in for a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With Queensland reporting three new community transmissions yesterday, the state government have announced that masks have been made mandatory in greater Brisbane. Queenslanders are also urged to be careful with their movements and to avoid crowds. While there have been no lockdowns or stay-at-home orders implemented just yet, residents have taken these social distancing restrictions as a warning -...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Darwin's lockdown has been extended until Friday and one local man is now fearing the eight cartons of West Australian craft beer might not get him through. Dwayne Spears told our reporter via telephone this afternoon that there was no Betoota Long Haul Midstrength left, there wasn't even any Betoota heavy. There wasn't even a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The ever relatable Prime Minister has today informed the public that he 'gets it.' Speaking from his isolation quarters, the nation's Head of Marketing explained that nobody needs to convince him how annoying lockdowns are, because he's been couped up for 7 days already. "Mate, bloody hell, it's doing my head in aye," said Morrison today, empathising with...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prime Minister Scott Morrison has expressed his stress and frustrations at the state leaders this morning after they all fronted media to say it was Scott's fault the Pangolin's Wrath is back in the community ruining weddings again. Speaking to the media this morning via video link, the PM came out on the offensive. "I...