The Nation

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A family evening watching free to air Gambling Ads has unfortunately been interrupted by grown men in colourful shorts throwing a ball around in an apparent sporting event.  The Australian gambling industry is estimated to be at least a 20 billion dollar industry, a figure that is hard to clarify due to most online betting agencies being based in...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT An ambiguously titled ‘Digital Creative’ has found a loophole in the hospitality system in Betoota’s French Quarter and is ready to exploit it to the very last drop. Freelancer Beth Miller (32) states rather than at home, she prefers to work in public places like libraries and cafes because it is a lot less acceptable to waste your day...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT At only eight months old, Harper Robertson of Betoota Heights is giving her parents a run for their whinging, attention-seeking millennial money.  According to mum Leah Robertson (29), her infant daughter has spent a lot of her free time being audibly upset at being the evolutionary benefactor of a new set of teeth. “My nana said they used to put...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local woman has today been lucky enough to receive a warning shot, before agreeing to a date with a potential fuck boy, it’s reported. Abby Clarke was out with a few friends last Friday night, when she ended up exchanging flirty banter with a cutie in the smoker’s area. As she’d playfully engaged in some verbal sparring...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A group of old mates are currently texting their girlfriends and mothers to ask what the plan was for tonight, after finding themselves having a bit more fun than they imagined they would on Friday arvo drinks. The vagueness of their text messages, which purport that not much is going on but it might be...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An excited year 10 science teacher at Betoota High School, has been unable to hide his excitement surrounding this weekend's State of Origin matches. Halfway through the lesson Mr Joye noticed an unruly vibe in his classroom. "Oi!" he shouted at the class, as his pupils became noticeably off-task "What's going on?" Without much need for any further interrogation, one of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The State Of Queensland has today announced who will be filling in for new fan favourite Justis Huni at the Tokyo Olympics. The 22-year-old heavyweight was forced to withdraw from the Games after damaging his hands by punching Paul Gallen in the head so many times. While every punch was cheered by the Sunshine State, Gallen, the former...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A local woman has reached breaking point after a particularly stressful day at work, it’s reported. Jess Simpson tells The Advocate that she’d been looking forward to coming home and curling up with some wine and junk food when she spied a rolled-up packet of chips on the counter. Eager to polish off the rest of the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Sydney is about to go into lockdown. Or that's the word on street - according to various group chats on various platforms. Straight from the horse's mouth/es, a large number of Sydneysiders have reportedly heard strong 4th or 5th hand evidence that this latest outbreak is BAD! While Gladys is set to announce 11 cases later today, it's believed...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman Liz Short always knew that her friend Sam was the better looking of the pair. Still, she’d long convinced herself that although her friend was a least one point higher on the hotness scale, Liz at least had her firecracker wit. But unfortunately for Liz’s rather fragile self-esteem, it appears as though her mate has taken the...