Sports

Nation Dedicates Roughly 26 Seconds Of Thought To Tomic’s Withdrawal From Rio

14 May, 2016 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT   Experts agree that much like Nick Kyrgios, Australian tennis person Bernard Tomic was probably not smacked as a child. The entire tennis community has berated Bernard Tomic today for his decision to forgo representing Australia at the Rio Olympics in favour of playing an obscure ATP Tour event in Mexico. Instead of going to Brazil in August,...

NRL Shocked To Once Again Learn That Ex-Players Don’t Make Very Good Accountants

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The NRL has fined the Manly Sea Eagles $750,000 for breaches of the salary cap over the past five years, while two officials have also received 12-month bans. “What we have found is that hiring former footballers to run a professional sport franchise is probably not the best way to go" said club CEO Joel Surfiekhunt. "Especially when most...

Shane Warne, Andrew Johns and Grant Hackett to film a bender for charity

12 May, 2016. 17:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SAID TO BE THE COMBINATION of the 40 Hour Famine and a country rugby league Mad Monday, three stalwarts of the Australian bender scene have come together in aid of a very special charity. Cricketing legend Shane Warne and Swimmer Grant Hackett came up with the idea of filming a bender, which...

Malcolm Turnbull Forced To Watch 20 Minute Penrith Highlights Video On Gus Gould’s iPhone

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Malcolm Turnbull's entire security detail has been stood down today, after the Australian Federal Police learnt that the Prime Minister had been left alone for close to half an hour with Channel Nine commentator and Penrith Panthers General Manager, Phil 'Gus' Gould. It is believed, while on the campaign trail in Sydney's Western Suburbs today, Prime Minister Turnbull...

Origin Players Reminded, Once Again, That You Can’t Give More Than 100%

9 May, 2016 17:15 IMRAN GASHKORI | Editor | CONTACT Australia's entire rugby league community has been rattled by news last week that suggests there is no such thing as 110% when it comes to physical exertion. On Wednesday night's NRL Footy Show, iconic Melbourne Storm player Billy Slater was speechless after learning that '110%' is just an expression. The news was delivered to him by...

Sydney Roosters fans chuffed to learn they’re no longer the shittest team in the NRL

4 May, 2016. 9:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE THEIR MANAGEMENT STAFF and accountants trying to inform them where they stand after last night's federal budget, the players at the Sydney Roosters are pleased to know that they're no longer the shittest team in the National Rugby League. That honour now rests with the Parramatta Eels, who were given one of...

Refugee Seen Bowling Wrong’uns On Nauru Granted A Protection Visa

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 21-YEAR-OLD Tajik national has been granted a temporary protection visa by the Department of Immigration this afternoon after he was observed bowling googlys, zooters, legbreaks and flippers at the Nauru detention facility last week. Muhammed Ashkent, from the southern highlands of the tiny central Asian nation of Tajikistan, said he learned to play cricket before he left...

Jumpin’ Jai Taurima To Replace Matt Shirvington On Fox Sports Super Saturday

28 April, 2016 17:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the 2016 National Rugby League season in full swing, Fox Sports have announced that presenter and former Australian 100m national sprint title holder, Matt Shirvinton, has been replaced by former Australian long-jumper Jumpin' Jai Taurima, as a co-host of the NRL Super Saturday program. It is believed that Shirvington, who competed in the 100m, 200m and...

Howard: “Best Day Of My Whole Career Was Watching Glenn McGrath Score 61 At The Gabba”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact OPENING UP FOR THE FIRST time since last week, former PM John Howard has revealed that the greatest moment of his tenure in the top job was being there to see Glenn McGrath score 61 runs against New Zealand at the Gabba. It was the first Test way back in 2004 and the Australians well...

Conor McGregor’s remaining brain cells blamed for shock early retirement

20 April, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE HAVING MILLIONS OF brain cells left to lose, Irish fighter Conor McGregor has chosen to retire from all forms of professional MMA. Rumours have swelled for the proceeding 12-hours before the announcement, with confirmation coming from UFC President Dana White. The 27-year-old says he was confronted in a dream by his remaining...

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