Local News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The National Party of Australia has today asked a big question of its political ally and longtime friend. That question was, "Are you fucking done now?" The Nats asked the question after one of the most calamitous weeks in Australian political history, whereby a bunch of individuals put their egos and personalities ahead of the interests of the nation. After days...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact John-Michael Tanbar's lips have been sealed to Berlin's bosom for nearly a year now and he told The Advocate that he's never been happier. The German happy-go-lucky sensibilities and their blasé, liberal attitude toward pretty much everything was just what the 27-year-old ceramic artist was looking for. But there was always a small part of him...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact Sales representative and former crypto-enthusiast Chris Porter (28) recently cut out the middleman and donated his tax return directly to online bookies in a genius move set to maximise his time. Receiving a tax return of $645, or roughly one and a half pairs of RM Williams, Porter opted to save the heartbreak of watching...

Louis Burke | Culture | Contact Former call centre employee Charlie Roper (32) has taken to social media to announce she is now accepting her first clients as a professional life coach, despite the fact she is the last person you’d ever take advice from. As a high school graduate, Roper recently added to her credentials by attending a life coaching...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After a recent fall, a local sexagenarian has found himself in Betoota Base Hospital with a broken coccyx and fractured humorous. Murray Sockman was collecting his mail on Friday morning when he came across some ice slathered across his Betoota Heights driveway. His late-model Hush Puppies, which advertised 'extra grip' on the box, were no match for...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A semi-retired Betoota Grove couple welcomed their first grandchild into the world over the weekend and they've been doting on the little bundle of joy ever since. Graham and Enola 'Butter' Rogers, both 68, took a break from manhandling their eldest son's baby to speak to The Advocate about the joy pulsating throughout their bodies at the moment. The couple...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "The drought affects a whole range of industries, not just agriculture," he said. "We might not make good television or sell newspapers with our stories of woe but let me tell you something for free. We brickies, builders and unskilled shit-kickers haven't had a rain day in almost three years," "Do you know what that does...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A low-tier employee barely making the minimum wage has decided to make it all about her and inconvenience her boss today, by handing in her resignation. Pip Husic, a client manager at a mid-sized Public Relations Agency in the French Quarter explained to The Advocate that she was just feeling like a change of scene. After plugging away for 18...

LEEROY PERCIVAL | Local News | Contact In a special 30th birthday celebration next year, the team at Bluesfest have announced that they will be holding the annual event at Bunnings Warehouse in Mermaid Waters. The Easter celebration will see Bluesfest team up with Bunnings, along with Sportsbet, Crown Lager and Kirks’ Solo to host a bucks style celebration. Festival boss, Peter Noble (sic), texted his...

LEEROY PERCIVAL | Local News | Contact A local paddle boarder has this week made a seamless transition into his role as a father, by applying about 5 times more sunscreen than is necessary and not making any reasonable attempt to rub it into his skin. After a few double-takes, Trevor Hendy, a senior town-planner and avid Rodriguez fan, was spotted during...