Local News

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local restaurant manager is being treated for shock after he witnessed a customer completely destroy a wagyu steak with 3 tablespoons worth of salt.  “I couldn’t stop him” a rattled Carlos Manuela told our reporter over the phone while cowering in the cool room.  “The customer is always right, but this?”  “I tried to make a joke with him, I...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact After hazily scouring the room through squinted eyes, a drunk Sarah Thornhill is slowly making her way towards the bar to take her night into the rumosphere.  For someone who’s often described as boisterous and attention seeking, Sarah is tonight sneaking through the crowd with a rum in each hand, praying to her white bear god that no one...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local session in the Old City District has taken a brief moment to pause and pay thanks to one of music's modern greats. Getting together for a slowly accelerating catch up, a group of girls were well on their way after a few happy hour margaritas. However, with a cheese board demolished and the second bottle of...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Things often feel bleak at the Betoota Direct Orders Of Outdoor Furniture (DOOF) head office. Not necessarily because of the rise of online competitors, or the founder and CEO's very public in-house infidelities that appear to have shaken the business to its core. But because this place is mostly made up of time-stamp punching lifers who are just waiting out...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact In news that has shocked literally no one, a local fedora-wearing man has revealed to The Advocate that he actually enjoys listening to jazz music.   Quentin Gilmore, a 40-year-old miniature train specialist, made the confession while sipping a piccolo at a French Quarter café. “You wouldn’t think it, but I love jazz” “It just speaks to me” “skeep-beep de bop-bop beep...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact April Carmen and Trick Lockett have been dating for eight and a half months. The young couple began dating after Trick hit on April at the Betoota Ute Muster late last year, and since then the two love birds have gone from strength to strength. They’ve gone through all the major milestones; graduating from texting to calling, sleeping over on...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local dad has struggled to hide his emotions this morning after waking up on Father’s Day and finding that his family had done absolutely nothing for him. Speaking to The Advocate over a piece of Vegemite toast, Trenton Edwards, explained how this is the first time all year that his family has listened to anything he’s said. “They asked...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact CCTV footage from inside a Betoota cardboard box factory has solved one of 4Sides’s biggest workplace mysteries. For months the emptying of the kitchen biscuit jar had remained shrouded in mystery, however, The Advocate can now exclusively reveal it was operations manager, Terry Kapp (65). Despite arrowroots being the shittest biscuits, Terry has been filmed eating upwards of 5 biscuits...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact In an effort to make himself seem less alone to a 19-year-old bartender, a local city worker asked for two schooners with his $10 jug of Tiger to give the illusion that he's waiting for somebody to join him. The only time Roger Spearman gets to spend on his own is the commute to and...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local concrete cowboy has saddled up for a big day on the horse. The Finance and Corporate Affairs Analyst at a firm in Betoota’s cobbled Old City District checked everything was in order, as he does every weekday, and got up into the saddle. With his Berocca fizzing away in his water bottle, his long black cooling off in his keep cup and...