Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local sometimes cocaine, mostly ice, dealer has made it pretty clear that he strongly admires the main protagonist of the 1983 American gangster movie, Scarface. Arty 'Party' Princeton (24) has only been 'bout that life for a couple years now, but even people who don't buy drugs from him are aware of his drug dealer status. Mainly due to the fact that he...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A first date at a French Quarter restaurant has gone into overdrive as accountant Lindal Snape (30) steps it up a notch and begins discussing Uber ratings with promising Tinder match Reese Mckinley (31). According to Snape she usually waits until after the meal to bring up ‘real topics’ such as Uber ratings, workplace bullying and shared experiences reading the Barefoot Investor. However, Snape decided...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Sydney's aspirational class's unquenchable lust for cocaine appears to extend to every facet of the community, including the police force, that's according to the most recent legal dramas faced by the Hadley family. Iconic Radio broadcaster Ray Hadley says his police officer son, who was allegedly busted with cocaine on Friday, has disappointed the family by being like every...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) have today launched a campaign that is likely to have yet another obscure Australian demographic up in arms. The campaign in question is one that chastises people for Animal Shaming, an act where one person uses a cat or dog as a means to insult another person, a practice particularly...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT As the sun goes down over the mighty brown snake, a once warm day is usurped by a chilling night - well, for chilly for Brisbane anyway. Brisbane residents were in an absolutely panic tonight as their thermometers dipped below 25 degrees Celsius. Reports from the northern capital indicate that residents were running to their doomsday bunkers to dust off...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact An elderly sun-kissed Northerner has today made a point of referring to Mackay as Mack-Kay, instead of the modernised pronounciation of 'Mack-Kye'. Sarina Ingham (82) says as a 7th generation Maltese-Italian-South Sea-Irish-Townsvillian mix who used to work in the cane fields as a little girl, she is a pretty good authority on how to pronounce the name of the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Scientists have confirmed today that executives at the grocery giant Coles, break down exactly 1000 years faster than their plastic bags. The finding by Australia’s peak scientific body the CSIRO comes after the supermarket heavyweight announced that they would be caving on their new plastic bag scheme and handing the bags out for free indefinitely. The scientists confirmed that the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Phoebe Kennedy, a local employee at a retail chain in Betoota Ponds took a gamble a little while ago. Tired from finishing an assignment late last night before her 8am start at the Hillers the part time employee had had just about enough. That was before Tracey Phillips, a 48-year-old suburban mother of 3 came in. After going back and forth...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Halfway through his first shift as a bouncer in the Betoota French Quarter, big unit Jackson Henare (30) is beginning to wonder exactly where the line is when it comes to managing intoxicated members of the public. Taking some time off from his ten-year stints as the guy on the worksite who has to answer all the questions about New Zealand, Henare decided to...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Campfire dwellers were stunned by the obvious revelation that the guy with a Smile sticker on his acoustic guitar reckons he’s opened for John Butler at some point. Alleged musician Owen ‘Ohm’ Christianson (34) describes himself as a full-time gipsy and citizen of the world despite the fact most of his travelling takes place between Byron Bay and his parents home in Port Macquarie. One...