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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If the 2019 election result wasn't enough proof that the Australian Labor Party is no longer just Summer cricket and high-paying factory jobs, today's erratic rebrand has all but confirmed the identity crisis of one the oldest institutions in Australian politics. Today on ABC's Radio National Breakfast opposition leader Anthony Albanese told presenter Fran Kelly that "875,000 people were...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent study by the Betoota Human Rights Commission found that the most politically vocal members of society actually aren't the citizens who live in fear of having their lives taken from them by overzealous police officers and prison wardens. The BHRC study has revealed that the average right-wing conspiracist on Facebook is is unable to see the pure,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT His name is Frankie. Frankie Lama, but his mates call him Tank. This 44-year-old truck driver from Concord has been identified as the only bloke in New South Wales that has not visiting the now notorious Crossroads Hotel in Casula this week. Because of this unwitting coincidence, Tank doesn't need to visit a drive-thru COVID-19 testing nation and have his...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT According to a recent report by the Academy Of Country Music Awards (ACMA) - the Australian Outback is the number one consumer of all Johnny Cash records. The report has found that while the memory of folk legend Johnny Cash is still well and truly engrained into the American psyche, the monetary value of his estate is now almost...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The great travelling showmen of the NRL, The New Zealand Warriors, are today making preparations to pack up and relocate again - as the growing number of community transmissions in NSW edges towards concerning. After spending several months based out of Tamworth, the possibility of a Melbourne-style lockdown being implemented across Sydney is threatening to postpone the rugby season...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney Police have today confirmed that robbery that took place during a live broadcast on Channel 10's The Voice was indeed not planned is currently being investigated. The footage showed a prominent Mount Gambier adlay being robbed of tens of thousands of dollars, after he was prematurely sent home from the prime time talent show. The eshay at the centre...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In March the Prime Minister unveiled a plan to quarantine overseas arrivals in serviced apartments across the major cities with international airports, the plan was announced in cooperation with the states, who had agreed to foot the bill for accommodation while the Federal government would pay for the military to manage security operations. However, the Victorian government decided to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's second-largest city has begun a second lockdown in response to a spike in new community-transmitted coronavirus infections. Melbourne's five million residents are now unable to leave home for six weeks, except for essential reasons, which does not include socialising on the fucking tan. Borders between Victoria and New South Wales are now heavily guarded, as the city comes to...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In a win for residents of the new Betoota Creek subdivision, the most useless 5% of the site has been converted from a mangrove swamp into “wetlands”. The new “Biodiversity Offset Wetlands” features an extended family of Native Bin Chickens, 4 stylish hardwood benches, and a shitload of asbestos buried under the carpark, allegedly.   “It’s a great feeling giving back...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a rare moment of humble defeat, the Premier Of Victorian has today admitted that maybe the future of human civilisation should not rest on the shoulders of someone who is paid $17 an hour with little training in biosafety. This comes after new revelations that the security guards put in charge of the quarantining of COVID-19 positive overseas...