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Racially Divided Outback Town Finds Harmony Through Their Shared Love Of The Phantom Comics

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Since the early days of Federation, the central-north-inland Queensland town of Migalobudoo has been notorious for the hostile relationship between the town's Indigenous community and the white working class. Ever since the elite southerners forced the White Australia policy upon this melting pot of sun-soaked agriculture in 1901, the government has forged a wedge between these two communities with...

Gladys Says It Woulda Been Good To Get A Heads Up That COVID-19 Is Not Very Popular Up North

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland now has six active cases of coronavirus. This follows the news that a pair of COVID-19 positive teenagers from Brisbane's southside had lied on their travel forms and returned home from a weekend away - without declaring that they had visited Melbourne before transferring flights in Sydney. In response to this, Queensland's Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk is tightening border restrictions...

NSW Residents Dust Off The Facemasks They Bought In Simpler Times When Everything Was On Fire

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With world renowned cities and Melbourne introducing mandatory facemask laws, heated discussions have taken place between pro-mask health and science experts and the anti-mask advocates who may or may not have a shed full of multi level marketing products they never managed to shift. However, in the nations’ most populous state, New South Wales, where the spill off from...

Community Transmissions Of COVID-19 Soon To Be Eliminated After Nation’s Nans Get Involved

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today reconfirmed that Australia is aiming for “no community transmission” of COVID-19, in a return to the previous government goal of domestic elimination of the virus. “The goal of that is, obviously, and has always been no community transmission" said the Prime Minister. When asked how the goal for “no community transmission” would impact the...

Conservatives Outraged As Cheese Company Makes Economically-Driven Business Decision

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The iconic Coon cheese will be renamed on Australian supermarket shelves, after it's new North American owners finally acknowledged the feelings of Indigenous people who have in the past flagged the fact that this particular word can also be used as a horrible racial slur towards people with dark skin. The Montreal-based dairy company, Saputo, has previously defended the...

Study Finds Bender Come-Downs And Mild Coronavirus Symptoms Feel Exactly The Same

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the nation's carefree early 20-somethings currently excreting vodka alco-pops through their pores, is that a weekend-long party actually leaves you feeling exactly the same as someone who caught a mild dose of COVID-19 on the train. As has been the case since the start of the Coronavirus pandemic, Monday has once again seen a spike...

Chair Of Organisation Full Of Unsackable Boomers In Outdated Roles Says Kids Need To Harden Up

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The chair of a media organisation made up of predominantly inner-city based baby boomers and technologically illiterate gen-X public servants has today offered her thoughts on the current standard of young people entering the workforce. Ita Buttrose has been quoted saying Millennials in the Australian workforce “lack resilience” and need “hugging” for constant reassurance and also “need to be...

“Actually, Better Pick Up Some Milk While I’m Out” Says Victorian After Drive-Thru COVID Swab

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Portia Princes (33) has been suffering from a dry cough and headache all week. However, she can't imagine someone like her, as a corporate creative Melbournite who lives in one of those suburbs that are hard for people outside of Victoria to pronounce correctly, could possibly have the dreaded coronavirus. "Yeah, ummmm... I don't know if you know much about...

Irish Backpacker In Bondi Wonders Why $90M Wasn’t Spent Torturing Him Over An Expired Visa Too

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prominent Bondi Irishman, Colm Waterford (23), is keeping his head low today. This comes after learning that his recent visa issues could have resulted in enough personal turmoil to cause him severe health issues, and detained at the cost of the Australian tax payer for three years while being bounced between a series of terrifying privately operated detention centres. Colm...

Bloke Sucking Back 16mg Winnie Reds On Smoko Reckons Those Masks Expose Ya To Carbon Monoxide

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Footscray-based bricklayer Craig Norton has never been one for the 'mainstream media' he reckons. In fact, ever since Facebook came along, he hasn't read one piece of so-called journalism from any of those pen-pushers at The Age or the ABC. The only print newspaper he reads is the loose copy of the Herald Sun floating around at smoko, and he...

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