Breaking News

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights empty nester has won the praise of her kids again this week, after standing up for the poor British Royal Family. Making a quick call to say hello to one of her daughters living down in Brisbane, Carol Devine quickly found a way to bring up a topic that's been weighing heavily on her mind...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT When Jim Thornton was growing up, he knew he wanted to inflict the most pain possible on the world. But considering he didn’t have the grades to be a lawyer or the gift of the gab needed to become a real estate agent, he’s had to settle for the next best thing - a recruitment HR officer. And no, not...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After years of fun and games, the people behind the popular video game Halo have been told to get down to business. Fans of the science fiction media franchise have today told the developers to stop fucking around, and just drop the Blood Gulch map in. This comes after an open beta of the multiplayer aspect for the...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In breaking motoring news from Aichi, Japan, the Toyota Motor Corporation (TYO) has announced the release of a new electric powered Toyota LandCruiser. The news comes as car manufacturers across the globe continue to design and innovate new models of electric vehicles, to support the global shift towards decreasing transport emissions. Speaking to The Advocate via weblink, Chief...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Panel cap makers have been unable to keep up with demand this week as a collective of coastie mates took a group photo, leading to a national shortage of panel caps. Currently an ‘in-style’ fashion choice, panel caps (or ‘lids’ in youth speak) are a popular choice amongst young men who live by the coast and pair especially well...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local bloke has had to resort to some pretty desperate tactics in the dating arena after attempts at conversing with strangers went largely ignored. Matthew Fitzgerald-Gibbs is alleged to have gone out with his friends to the prominent nightspot ‘Night Shift’, with the sole intention of meeting a lovely lady. But as he’d put the feelers out...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Australian classical music fans are rejoicing today, as Wagga Wagga Conservatorium unveiled a surprise international headliner for their upcoming Carols by Candlelight. Making a statement to local press, the conservatorium has announced Dutch violinist and over 60’s heartthrob Andre Rieu will be bringing his ‘Christmas with Andre’ stadium spectacular down under. Soundtracked by Andre’s famed 100 piece Johann...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An all-boys University sharehouse has descended into a new stage of depravity, after sinking to a new depth. Located in Betoota’s French quarter, the two-storey terrace was the scene of severe hygiene crime, as four male engineering students began using multi-purpose spray to wash their dishes. Speaking to The Advocate, first year fresher Nathan Sard (22) said...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT We’ve all got that one mate who can’t handle himself on the piss, and for local bloke Gregory Hunt, unfortunately, he’s that mate. The Betoota Ponds local is alleged to have spent his entire Saturday day drinking at his friend’s nans house, which, although was adorned with every knick-knack known to man, also had a pretty decent pool. As they’d...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT The legitimacy of Melbourne dive bar ‘The Lib’ has reportedly been questioned this weekend when it was discovered that the bathrooms were a little too clean. This harsh accusation is said to have occurred last Saturday night after an elderly punk was seen exiting one of the men’s bathrooms with a look of disgust. As a nearby glassy reached for...