Breaking News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A group of popular female students from Joan Of Arc Ladies College in North Betoota have spent the last five minutes locked in a deep embrace for no reason. This follows new findings in a recent report by the CSIRO which suggests that popular high school girls spend upwards of 85% of their school recess and lunch breaks...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A mass evacuation is currently being carried out in the Queensland town of Mackay as the ever-growing Cyclone Debbie threatens to cause widespread destruction as it collides with a high tide. Authorities are urging about 25,000 residents in “low-lying areas” of Mackay to evacuate their homes immediately. “We are asking people that can move out of those low-lying areas...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The tokenistic bowl of hand cut vegetables that accompanied a $12 shnitty and chips has got to be kidding itself, says one punter. Inner-East Betoota man, Josh Gayrard (29) rarely treats himself to a dirty little pub lunch, and on Sunday of all days, he's definitely not going to fuck around with gross cold vegetables. "Mate, If I wanted to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Both Victorian Police and the Premier's Office have this afternoon admitted that they are nothing short of impressed by the notorious Melbourne youth gang 'Apex'. After over 18 months of 'declaring war' against the troubled teenagers with a penchant for carjacking, just about everyone in Melbourne has to pay credit where credit is due, after several members of the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the death of iconic American musician Bill Withers earlier this year, tributes have flowed from rock'n'roll greats who credit the singer for his influence on modern music The remaining members of The Rolling Stones and The Beatles are just some of the stars to attribute their careers to the late singer-songwriter, who is being remembered as the true...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An inner-city Betoota cafe owner is charging 50 cents extra for any customer who requires eftpos, despite not looking like he can really afford to pick and choose, it has been confirmed. Despite making a sustainable amount of money each day on this essentially cost-free service, local barista Kai Dixon (32) is still acting like the three hand...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An over-the-top mate has started dishing out sack wacks on day two of a heavy bucks party trip, it has been confirmed. Some of the boys believe it is because of the fact that Luke can't seem to drink as much as the rest of them, and therefore needs to take things up a notch with juvenile pranks...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An opinionated Facebook user has stumbled across some sort of social media fame today, after posting an aggressive video rant on his timeline about some mundane thing that resonates with other people. The video, which is titled: “Something that’s really been pissing me off lately” – has been liked by over 2000 people, some who don’t even know...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local resident's hangover is so bad that the only option available for life to continue is to place a garden chair in the shower and turn it on full blast. It is believed, that when combined with suburban thai food and gatorade, a 'chair-shower' is an acceptable last resort for people who have drunk so much booze...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Senator Pauline Hanson has drawn roars of support from a crowd of imminent One Nation voters, in some town that Bill Shorten and Annastacia Palaszczuk has never heard of, today. Standing on a podium with an 5 x 5 metre Australian flag draped behind her, Hanson assured the crowd that, aside from the random influx of political donations she has...