CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local resident’s hangover is so bad that the only option available for life to continue is to place a garden chair in the shower and turn it on full blast.
It is believed, that when combined with suburban thai food and gatorade, a ‘chair-shower’ is an acceptable last resort for people who have drunk so much booze the night before that they forget when to breathe.
“Sometimes, it’s the only thing that makes me feel like I don’t have an Greek teenager’s subwoofer inside my brain” said local women, Fliss Dodson.
“I actually have had glandular fever before I reckon even at its worst, it felt better than the last half an hour has felt”
“Fuck this shit”
“I can still taste that weird coffee liquor all those blokes were buying us last night”
As mentioned in The Betoota Advocate last week, drinking shower water has for many years been considered a staple part of Australian mornings after, as a quick and thorough way of hydrating, while also not having to think too much about doing anything.
This method has been utilised in the new introduction of hangover clinics, for people rich enough to pay their way out of a hangover.
Clinic nurse Beryl Wang says that drinking shower water is a part of traditional Australian medicine and has been thought to help cure hangovers for generations.
“Modern scientific medicine will tell you that rehydrating is key to getting over a hangover,” she said. “We use more traditional methods, like putting a hash brown in a bacon and egg roll or enjoying a naughty inside cigarette.”
In addition to the chairs, Indian food can be administered intravenously while a patient lies in bed watching reruns of The Simpsons on Fox8.
If you’re easily scared by needles, then the nurses can organise for a feeding tube to be used instead.
However, local shower-chairer Fliss says that she can’t afford a visit to the hangover clinic and three showers between zooper doopers will have to do.