IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It's nearing the silly season's peak in Betoota with even the most dedicated workplaces taking to drinking on a school night. One such office is the local branch of mid-tier domestic law firm, Minthurst Claypoon, who did their best last night to melt the corporate Amex card at the many licensed venues dotted throughout the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation's greatest rugby minds, a common rock pigeon from Sydney, has told The Advocate that he's made contact with former England coach Eddie Jones this week because if he didn't do it, nobody else would at Rugby Australia until it was too late. While it's not in the pigeon's department, it just...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the shadowy members of the New South Wales poker machine industry has confirmed to The Advocate that they're putting together a so-called "dirt file" on the state's premier. The drastic action is in order to force Premier Dom Perrottet to back down on introducing new legislation aimed at preventing people from completely fucking...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister is mulling a tough decision today to either put a cap on the price of power and make it more difficult for generators to generate record profits or just let them continue to price gouge working families herein. From the steam room at The Lodge, Anthony Albanese FaceTimed our reporter to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Some baggage handlers employed by Qantas on some predatory enterprise agreement or something have been filmed treating luggage belonging to customers like rubbish this week. It confirms the age old saying in computing, garbage in garbage out. The airline has been quick to suspend the workers in the video, reassuring customers that their bags are...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is wary continued inflation and higher energy prices put London at risk of becoming a second - or even third tier European city as the cost of living crisis in the UK goes from bad to worse. Prime Minister Sunak explained that "London is at risk of becoming the 'Adelaide...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA former Pokemon Master has decided to throw it back this week, as he attempts to wind back the clock with a vintage watch. After seeing many local teens in Betoota’s French Quarter embrace a trendy 90’s aesthetic, local Aldi store manager Tyler Horton is reported to have ditched his fancy Apple Watch and transition over to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the price of used cars continues to trend upwards in a detached, hyper-inflated hell ride, a Betoota Grove resident is showing his neighbours that he has money to burn. Outside a house that has its own name on the corner of Cohen Mews and Rubenstien Avenue sits a 1987 Honda Accord that hasn't been...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact With the rising popularity of death ships sailing the seven seas, chock full of spicy cough and gastro, a local woman said she wasn't sure she'd see her parents again after farewelling them off on a cruise this afternoon. Speaking to The Advocate from the bohemian beach city of Adelaide, Toiréasa Donoghue said she's only...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact News out of China suggests everything is fine and nothing bad is going to happen there in the not too distant future. According to decadent western media, there is growing unrest in the world's most populous country over the government's policy regarding the spicy cough and its spread through the nation. In addition to that, lockdowns...