Ticking Sounds From 60 Minutes Clock Depressing Reminder That The Weekend Is Over
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
For a little while there, Bronwyn Williams forgot that she would be entering her place of employment in just over 12 hours, that was until the unique sound of the 60 minutes clock began ticking aggressively.
For many, the sound of the ticking clock is associated with a warning that some excruciatingly mediocre journalism will...
Entire Group Chat Gradually Likes Instagram Photo They’ve Been Bitching About All Day
TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact
A local girl has today committed an act that has become the norm amongst male and female social media users. Aliesha Handley-Smith (26) took a screenshot of Kate Simpson’s latest Instagram post and sent it directly to her all female group chat.
“Omg, Kate’s latest Insta” accompanied the photo.
The photo in question is one that see’s...
Turnbull Celebrates Just What It Is To Be Australian Over Swordfish Steak And Penfolds
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Before beginning his private celebration of BBQ and beverages (swordfish steak and vintage Penfolds) Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull took a chance to address to the mounting controversy of Australia Day stating it is a non-issue.
“It’s a day to recognise our history and celebrate together, just as the settlers and Indigenous Australians did when they first met on this...
Hillsonger Turns Off Hottest 100 After Hearing Language Warning
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Martin West feels as if he’s dodged a bullet today. While listening to the Hottest 100 at a neighbour's BBQ, the Hills district father of three acted fast and switched the radio off after the announcement of a language warning.
“Signs from above come in all shapes and sizes man. This one came from the empowered but approachable voice...
Impoverished Uni Student Torn Between Penalty Rates And Day Of National Celebration
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Every public holiday Anton Brooks is caught between two stools.
One stool is making double the amount he normally does for doing half the work he normally does.
The other stool is indulging himself in some mass produced sausages on high carb white bread while enjoying a few drinks of choice with his friends.
“Every year I spend the month leading...
Proud Australian Already An Embarrassment To Australia
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
It’s not even dark yet and Tomas Bird (26) has made a fool of himself.
The market analyst at a local firm in Betoota spent all week winding himself up about Australia Day, and it has come back to bite him.
Friends of the Betoota born and raised man told us that the writing was on the wall early for...
Great, Lack Of Hottest 100 Means Todd Is In Charge Of The Aux Cord Today
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Partygoers at a house in the French Quarter are going to suffer immensely today as a result of Triple J’s decision to move its famous countdown.
The BBQ hosted by Toddy Sampson has pulled a solid group of people, and his share house has a pretty good set up.
Nice backyard. Big wooden table. Quality BBQ. Large spread of couches...
Random Bloke At Kick-On Tells Uncomfortably Long Story With No Climax
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A random bloke who has somehow gotten a bait to an intimate bender kick-on has just spent the last twenty minutes telling a story that is purely designed to keep people listening for as long as possible.
The story, which started with a bit of momentum, has spiralled off into a bizarre anecdote with no real punchline or climax.
In...
Bank Of Mum & Dad Announce Huge Profit Downgrade As Property Bubble Finally Bursts
DAVID GRONK | Finance| Contact
One of the nation's largest private lenders to the Millennial generation has downgraded their profit forecasts for Q3 and Q4 this year amid a cooling property market and tumbling exports.
The Bank Of Mum & Dad , outlined by then-Treasurer Joe Hockey as the only financial institution able to help young people into home ownership, spoke...
Devoted Uni Feminist Refuses To Be Distracted By Trivial Things Like Issues Facing Minorities
TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact
Last Friday a rally was held in the courtyard of Betoota’s leading tertiary educator, The University Of Western Queensland, to protest the poisonous inequality that’s come to consume the campus.
Becky Greer (27), founder of the Loudest Voice hosted the rally to draw attention to the plight of those who she believes are the last minority to be...