IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Recalling his favourite episode of British variety show, QI, the Prime Minister retired to his study to find and download it from the internet. As the internet is reportedly quite fast in the leafy Sydney peninsula of Point Piper, Malcolm Turnbull thought he'd have time to hose down his kayak after finding the episode on...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact Jasmine Saunders (26) and her best friend Kim Roquette (25) have only been living together in their Betoota Greens flat for 6 months, however, Jasmine has already developed a grievance with Kim – her boyfriend, or as Jasmine refers to him while bitching to their friends, their 3rd housemate. The Advocate caught up with Jasmine following the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A well-known French Quarter publican says he's between a rock and a hard place at the moment because one of his locals has begun ordering food from the kid's menu - saying he now identifies as a 10-year-old boy. Jock Campbell, publican of the esteemed Gorille De Vomi Bar & Grill on Rue de Overell, said that popular local Morris Pearson...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There were chaotic scenes this morning at the French Quarter local courts after the son of a prominent banker failed to have his conviction sealed by the court. Johnathon Hugh-Poon, the 19-year-old second born son of Betoota Grove hedgefund manager Alastair Poon, pleaded guilty to a string of charges earlier this month under the proviso that his convictions would...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A government employee who's entire livelihood depends on delivering media content to a vast range of Australians, both geographically and demographically, has today chortled to herself while declaring she doesn't have the faintest idea about how to reach 92% of the population. It is a growing attitude held by well-looked after Generation X employees both within the public broadcaster...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It was an offer too good to refuse, according to a spokesman from the Commonwealth Games. After a fierce battle between rival networks, Channel Seven has come out on top after offering Games executives a 6-pack of Oettinger Pilsners, a popular beer among students and value seekers. Seven reportedly countered the Nine Network's offer of a soiled pair of Diesel jeans...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The hottest new agency in Betooticon Valley bought a display motorcycle for their reception area today, ushering a new era of cool. Branlette Mouille has overtaken Clemenger Betoota BBDO as the hippest, most-in-demand agency in town and many in the local industry suspect it might have something to do with the Yamaha Cruiser they've just put in reception. Prospective clients have...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Denise Coleman, who left Betoota during the Great Brain Drain of 2004, said she's beginning to regret her decision to move to the Harbour capital. She saw the city as Australia's only truly international city, a place where she could put her hard-won commerce degree to good use. So she took the plunge and moved down there with an overnight...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A few short years ago, Marty Dollarhyde was playing Golden Oldies league with his old Betoota Dolphins teammates from the late 1960's. He's given that way now, his knees and hips are simply shot. But back then, that didn't stop the barnstorming 70-year-old from putting the shoulder into a broken body or two. His friends and family laughed and giggled when...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite claims that his 'olive skin' tans and doesn't burn, a local moron is determined to prove himself right this afternoon, refusing the offer of sunscreen from a friend. "I don't burn," said Matthew Stick, a person who works in an office and gets paid monthly. "There's Mediterranean blood in me. We don't need sunscreen, just a little tanning oil and...