IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Aside from spending time in the nets both here in Australia and overseas, former Test opener Cameron Bancroft is also returning to his former role as the kazoo player in the popular Fremantle band, Tame Impala. It was noted by a number of music journalists when Bancroft's departed the project in 2011 to focus on his...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A local man with a distinct inability to interpret social cues, and gnawing insecurities, has finally managed to woo a member of the opposite sex this week. Justin Masters (32) a banker from the Ponds, managed to achieve the feat during his weekly social mixed touch game by stepping on the outside of the woman...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's hopes of securing a draw in the fourth Test seem to have all but disappeared this afternoon local time as the Chinese space station Tiangong-1 failed to land on The Wanders stadium in Johannesburg overnight. It was hoped that the falling space junk would crash into the sporting complex, effectively ruling play out for some years...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Cricket Australia welcomed back XXXX GOLD as it’s official beer partner at the start of the season, taking over from the incumbent Victoria Bitter. The Men and Women From Milton rejoiced at the news - finally, the nation's most popular midstrength beer was back supporting Australia's most popular sporting team. "Everything was going along fine," said one senior executive from...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Darren Lehmann, the former coach of the Australian Men's Cricket Team, has hinted at a possible next career move by telling reporters that he plans to move to Jamaica and wait for the opportunity to coach their national bobsled team. In a selfless act of redemption, the barnstorming South Australian said he's looking forward to being tapped on the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An unlucky junior employee from the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trading (DFAT) was chosen to deliver the Notice of Deportation papers to the Russian Embassy in Canberra this afternoon - which he did so in a regular Army gas mask. Peter Gollan, the public servant forced to make the short walk up the garden...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Whenever Julie and Peter Rovemount head up over the hill from the Old City District where they live to where they've bought their son a 'starter home' in Betoota Ponds, they lock the doors to their late-model Volvo and try not to make eye contact with anyone. They avoid Mulholland Street at all costs. "It's shocking out here but it's slowly...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact The final nail has been driven into the coffin of a long-standing friendship of individuals in their mid-thirties, as the least accomplished of the group, Shannon Matheson (35), suggested on the group chat “Let’s go camping.” The group chat in question features eight high school friends, who sparsely make loose plans to catch up for a drink, share the...

DAPHNE SORRENSEN | Literature | Contact Flicking through the latest edition of GQ magazine, a popular French Quarter advertising account manager spied an article that described what females allegedly like seeing in a man's house. What Konrad Randrup, a first generation Danish-Australian, read in that article chilled him to his very core. "It said that girls like men who read," he said. "Which presented a problem...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A controversial comment from the Reserve Bank today has a lot of hard-working senior Australians up in arms over claims the nation would be better off if they all just died. Philip Lowe, Governor of the Reserve Bank Of Australia, made the comments this afternoon during a presentation to shareholders and investors in Sydney. "Young people want fast internet, higher...