Sydney residents are rejoicing today, after the NSW Premier announced the end of the megacity’s comical traffic congestion issues.

As of next month, Light Rail vehicles will start making their way into the CBD for day testing in August, with night testing all the way to Circular Quay also shceduled

Gladys Berejiklian says it’ll be a sight Sydneysiders haven’t seen for half a century.

“I know everyone is regretting ripping up 291 kilometres of tram lines in the 1960s, but as the Liberal government of the time convincingly argued, we needed to get people used to the idea of driving cars”

“And yes, the Monorail in the 1980s was just a result of us getting a bit overexcited with the Bicentenial, we honestly thought we’d be hosting the Olympics in the nice part of Sydney back then”

Berejiklian quickly brushed over the third and arguably most pointless crack at inner-city light rail project between the poorer inner-western suburbs and in the Star Casino.

“This is the one we’ll talk about for years to come” said the Premier.

“As all of you know, it hasn’t come without its challenges,” she told reporters in Sydney on Wednesday.

“But today, soon we will successfully unveil a direct route between our largest public transport terminus, and the our largest horse racing track!”

The entire project was originally meant to cost taxpayers $1.6 billion but the bill has now blown out to a staggering $2.7 billion, after opting for foreign contracters to shave a couple hundred thousand off the initial project.


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