ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The NRL brains trust has been left to hand out tickets to State of Origin tonight because nobody with a function brain in Adelaide would pay to watch the show after the advertising campaign they’ve been subjected to in recent weeks.

That’s according to one local man, who said the “Stop Watching GayFL! Watch Real Footy” campaign that’s been plastered all over Adelaide this week has surprisingly not made him want to pay $70 to watch a game of rugby league being played at a cricket oval.

“Maybe if they’d, you know, said this was a rare opportunity to see something you don’t see in Adelaide very often and made the campaign more about being inclusive of Victorian leg tennis, instead of calling it ‘gay’ like some chode’s overweight 10-year-old son,” said Arthur Sturt Williams Robert Ross, a Prospect man who has decided a free ticket to this evening’s game is worth passing on.

“But instead, the NRL has gone with their usual smoothbrain ‘Us vs Them’ marketing strategy that works between the mouth-breathing states of Queensland and New South Wales but it doesn’t work with football codes. I don’t actually mind that rugby league or rugby union is played at the Adelaide Oval. Go for your life. Just don’t expect me to come and pay out the arse to watch it when you’ve just heaped shit on AFL for three weeks,”

“Sure, it might work in Perth because they’e chock full of South Africans who also like a bit of ‘Us vs Them’ if you know what I mean. But in Adelaide, we are egalitarians. Here in South Australia, we celebrate Christopher Pyne and Alexander Downer as much as we celebrate Jimmy Bairns and whoever the Hilltops Hoods guy is. Well, except for Georgina Downer. We celebrate her as much as we celebrate Snowtown. Not that we celebrate or joke about Snowtown. We leave that to people from Sydney who think people being murdered is funny.”

The Advocate reached out to the NRL for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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