TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

With leathery and floral hints, and only half the caffeine of a cup of coffee, ordering a cup of tea instead of a coffee before 11 am is just begging for attention. 

Attention that Beatrice Swansea has been silently waiting for with her cup of English Breakfast tea for just over ten minutes now.

With the strength of a Buddhist monk, Bea is patiently waiting for someone to ask her why she’s not drinking coffee. 

The twenty-seven-year-old health retreat manager makes a point of ordering tea in the morning as she believes that’s when she’ll garner the most attention and increase the likelihood of talking about herself. 

It’s believed Beatrice hasn’t always opted for coffee’s weaker cousin, in her younger wilder years Bea would drink upwards of 5 cups of coffee a day. 

According to her friends she only swapped to tea to be different. 

“When we lived together she didn’t even like tea” revealed a friend who wished to remain anonymous. 

“She used to say people who drink tea are weak, now look at her!” 

At the time of press, no one had asked Beatrice why she’s not drinking coffee, however there have been a number of quizzical scowls cast in her direction so it’s only a matter of time. 

More to come. 


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