ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An international student from India has expressed his shock to The Advocate today that one of his lecturers is a horse that can barely read and write, leaving him wondering if coming here is even worth it.

Harpreet Sharma asked two other students in the lecture theater if he was in the right place. He said they both nodded and pursed their lips.

The 28-year-old is studying a Masters of Biochemistry at South Betoota Polytechnic College after he completed a double Bachelor’s degree in Science and English Literature at the University of Delhi. Harpreet was under the impression that completing his Masters in Australia would lead to bigger and brighter things in life; however, he feels like he’s been sold something he didn’t think he was buying.

“It is a horse,” he said.

“Not even two men pretending to be one. It’s a fucking Belgian Warmblood. On top of that, I will only answer questions from people who have hay or carrots. Is it an it? I think its name is George? This horse can only say ‘No’ and ‘grill’ and shake his head. How is it supposed to teach my biochemistry?”

“If this degree is worthless, I’m fucked. I’m not alone, either.”

The Dean of Studies at South Betoota Polytechnic has hit back at claims Professor George The Belgian Warmblood is unqualified to teach advanced biochemistry and refuted the suggestion that he is racist.

Professor Rothery Overell told our reporter that he has known Professor George for ‘decades’ and comes highly regarded from many other Tier-3 tertiary institutions around regional Australia.

But Professor Overell did concede that Professor George’s students are predominantly from overseas.

“We do not stop taking enrollments here at South Betoota Polytechnic, we just find more space and lecturers to cater for demand,” he said.

“Professor George is a fine academic, and his students have gone on to scientific institutions all over the world. He’s not a racist. Yes, the six people he bit last year were all from India, but they were all from different social classes. It’s not an issue of race,”

“George kicked an Indonesian man in the back so hard, he did a front flip. He’s a horse, after all. A very clever horse. As long as there are people from overseas willing to come here to learn, it’s the duty of the Australian people to serve up their smartest barn animals to teach them—and take their money.”

More to come.


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