As the Queensland and Victorian Premiers continue to trade barbs with the Prime Minister over their respective COVID-19 responses – the NSW Government has decided to go to war with itself.

Gladys Berejiklian is in turmoil, after Deputy Premier and Nationals leader John Barilaro said his party would no longer support her government’s legislation in Parliament.

However, he said although his members will now move to the crossbrench, he has also confirmed that Nationals ministers would not surrender their portfolios – which sounds pretty fucking wild.

The Coalition agreement has been under pressure after Nationals MPs expressed anger over proposed planning regulations that would give farmers responsibility for managing koalas on their properties.

Mr Barilaro said his MPs had been liaising with Liberal colleagues about the policy since late last year and that if the Nationals did not take a stand, they “would become the laughing stock of regional and rural NSW”.

“I understand we are in the midst of a COVID-19 pandemic, but I’m sorry, this takes priority”

“I don’t care about our government’s world renowned contract tracing and fragile containment of second wave…”

“There are honest, hardworking Australians of the land who are being told they can’t split a koala’s furry little head open with a .303 simply because these Liberals that we rely upon to carry us into government think they are cute”

Barilaro says the Premier blindly opposing the idea of letting people kill koalas with guns reminds him a lot of the time her predecessor Mike Baird tried to ban greyhound racing.

“Gladys and her merry gang of leftie Liberal Sydney boys will learn”

“We will take our portfolios to the crossbench…”

“I mean, obviously I haven’t thought that one through, but”

“Gladys has proven she is out of touch with the average voters who just want to blow koalas heads off”

“I don’t care if they lost half their 70% of habitat to the summer bushfires. These things are fucking loud and ugly”


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