ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IT’S NOT THAT he doesn’t like his name, it’s just that he’d rather have a normal one – like James or Sam.
Life for Moth Stagecoach Miller (19) has been relatively normal when compared to his peers, save for one small detail.
“My parents say I should be grateful for having a name that nobody else has on this planet,” he said. “I think they should be grateful that I haven’t smothered them in their sleep.”
The Gold Coast apprentice waterproofer isn’t alone in his life of perpetual explanation.
Just an hour to the north lives a homely young woman who was given a very creative name. A name so creative, her parents had to fight for their right to call her it before a court.
“My name is Chinmouse Peppermint Swirl Collins. No shit. I would’ve cut my parents off when I was 18 and changed my name to something socially acceptable like Jennifer, but they own like seven houses so I have to wait until they die,” she explained. “I must’ve done something bad in a past life, I must’ve been Aileen Wuornos or something.”
Chinmouse spoke to The Advocate for nearly an hour this morning, detailing how she felt about having the privilege or having such a unique name.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have thoughts of setting my parents on fire while they slept. When I was a teenager, I’d mellow the pain from bullying with Kenny Loggins and marijuana, but that was a Band-Aid solution. I had to come to terms with being called Chinmouse. Fucking Chinmouse, man.”
Moth and Chinmouse have expressed their desire to change their names once their parents die and their wealth is redistributed.
Oddly enough, both Mr Stagecoach Miller and Ms Peppermint Swirl Collins have a number of siblings who have human names like you and I, adding to the mystique of their past.
“That’s the worst part,” they both said.