Local Prop Confident He Could Dust Floyd After One Session On The Focus Mitts

Local Prop Confident He Could Dust Floyd After One Session On The Focus Mitts

LACHLAN BULLIMORE | Bush FootyCONTACT

Overweight local prop says he would finish Mayweather after spending one training session on the focus mitts

Local Betoota front-row enforcer Eric “Stomper” Bucketts has been overheard saying he would fancy his chances against undefeated boxing legend Floyd Mayweather, declaring “all it would take is one good right hand flush on the jaw.” – while dramatically moving his head and fists at the same time.

Bucketts, who missed last weekend with a corked thigh, swapped usual barbie duties for injured players on Tuesday night opting instead for 15 minutes on the focus mitts with club masseuse Nigel Stiff.

“There’s been so much hype around this canvas dance on the other side of the world,” Bucketts told the Advocate.

“I’d had a big lunch that day, so after Stiffy had worked his magic on the cork I thought bugger the barbie, let’s get the mitts out.

“I was a bit off in the first few rounds, but by the end my jab-straight-hook combo was right on the button.”

Bucketts’ confidence soared when told Mayweather typically weighed in around the 60 kilo mark for his title fights.

“I’ve laid heavier cable after a session at Mangoes [Betoota Golf Club’s Asian inspired buffet restaurant],” proclaimed Bucketts.

“A bloke my size, 130 kilos plus, one good right hand flush on the jaw and he’s cuddling canvas.”

Stiff, as well as having the best hands west of Burke, is also a renowned boxing tragic. His Banjoes profile lists Johnny Lewis as his favourite author and the mugshot draws a striking resemblance to the legendary Kostya Tszyu.

“I think everyone has been quietly hoping Stomper would get the hunger for the sweet science one day,” said Stiff.

“Granted the three blokes he knocked out earlier in the season were facing the other way, he certainly seems to have natural timing.

“My hands were pretty tender after holding the mitts, I had to give all my regulars a half-price discount for three days until the swelling went down.”

Bucketts said any future clash with Mayweather would be “by the books” and has pledged to drop 55kgs in order to meet the champ at a fair 80kg.

Stiff is putting together the initial training program and is actively seeking sponsorship of a few carcasses from local abattoirs as well as a cassette copy of Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger.

More to come.

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