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Leader of The Greens Richard Di Natale did not appear his confident, charming self as he spoke to reporters today, appearing to fidget and twiddle his thumbs.
“I’ve just been trying to make sure we can clear our schedule in a couple days. I’ve been making sure there’s nothing I need to tend to in the senate”
“Think I accidentally voted in favour of whaling but whatever.”
Last year Di Natale said he was determined to get out of parliament to celebrate ‘Green Christmas’ – which takes place on the 20th of April, a date referencing the number 420, which Di Natale describes as ‘a very powerful number in Cannabis culture.’
“Last year I treated myself to some cheeky Doritos.”
With parliament concluding at 4:15 pm, Di Natale and his party members rushed out of parliament, knocking the Honourable Bob Katter III to the ground as they went though, sprinting to meet in the carpark of the Canberra Times before moving to an undisclosed location.
“It’s an important day for those in need of medicinal cannabis and those of us who want to take the edge off and chill with a bit of UB40.” he said.
As the night digressed, Di Natale did not appear the stressed-out version of his former self and had full confidence in his parties revolutionary new plan.
This year the night coincides with The Greens’ new policicies that would make access to medicinal cannabis easier for those in need of relief from chronic pain or a reason to enjoy memes about children’s cartoons.
“You see it’s a plan for medicinal cannabis and I’ll be putting it forward on 4/20 day. We are doing that intentionally actually. Pass me the guitar man, you’re doing it all wrong, we’re off the record now aren’t we? What’s your name again? I like you, do you ever come to Melbourne?”
MORE TO COME.