INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact

Just weeks after she lost her voice screaming along to all of her favourite songs on her favourite pop star’s long-awaited Australian tour, local woman Chantelle (28, Betoota Grove) is today confronting a brutal identity crisis that was dropped on her overnight like a tonne of bricks.

The late 20s paralegal is just one of millions of Lizzbians around the world who must now face the fact that their number one source of positivity and fun times for the last couple years now carries with it a dark and cruel undertone.

This comes after the news that beloved American pop singer Lizzo, and her production company, are being sued by three former dancers over allegations of sexual, religious and racial harassment, disability discrimination, assault and false imprisonment, among other allegations.

These accusations of an extremely toxic work environment surrounding the body positivity and inclusivity advocate have been backed up by numerous former staff employees and witnesses, as the gold standard of political correctness in pop culture is catastrophically undermined by what appears to be a criminal lack of respect for subordinates.

Lizzo’s once warm and loving fanbase, labelled the ‘Lizzbians’ by the artist herself, must now confront the fact that it’s not enough to just say the right things to avoid being labelled a bad person in the world of online pile-ons – but you also have to treat people with dignity as well.

However, with no response from the artist yet, diehards like Chantelle are still holding out for this all to be written off as a misunderstanding.

Her family and friends wait with baited breath to see her response to the downfall of her queen this morning.

“So, yeah, all this stuff with Lizzo, it’s like…” says Chantelle before taking a big sigh.

“I guess…”

She stops digging.

“Nah I’ve got nothing”

“This is pretty bad hey”

After spending the last two years doing her best to be the type of woman that Lizzo would want to hang out with, Chantelle is realising that maybe hanging out with Lizzo could be one of the most demoralising experiences she could put herself through.

“Maybe I should just move back to my hometown and become a conservative soccer mum” she says.

“Like, if Lizzo’s one of the baddies… What does that mean for all the people that have modelled our entire identities off her”


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