English loudmouth Piers Morgan is today coming to terms with that fact his country sucks. 

The media personality who makes a living out of saying silly things has thoroughly entertained over the last few weeks by dipping his toe into the world of cricket. 

Initially throwing a tantrum about Johnny Bairstow being legally dismissed, Piers has since carried on about Australia retaining the Ashes because of a drawn 4th Test. 

The 4th Test ended without a victor after the predictably shit English weather did what it did best and washed out everyone’s fun. 

Despite washed out tests being a hallmark of English cricket, Piers and the English are now pretending they’ve never be benifited from their miserable conditions. 

That’s left Piers almost as salty as the time he got burnt by Meghan Markle. 

Never spoken about by Meghan because she likely wants to forget the gross incident ever happened, Piers has claimed the pair went on a date. 

Speaking about the incident like he ever had a chance of romance with Meghan, Piers claims the former TV star “ghosted him.” 

Morgan claims that he bought a second pint on their date (which Meghan definitely did not know was a date) and then the future ex-Royal disappeared for a drink with some rednut called Harry. 

That ghosting from Meghan who almost certainly didn’t want a second pint has since lead to the vendetta in the media whereby Morgan can’t go more than 24 hours without talking shit about her.  

Thankfully the cricket has provided him with some distraction, which has left Australian cricket fans wondering whether this latest burning will cause years of public tirades. 

“I hope so,” laughed one Aussie cricket fan. 

“Cause they ain’t winning the next Ashes out here” 


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