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Hollywood’s annual night of nights is upon us, as the 95th Academy Awards kicks off at Dolby Theatre, hosted by Jimmy ‘Flight Logs’ Kimmel.
The Oscar winners in all 23 categories currently being rattled off, with an extra kick of excitement after three years of pandemic nerves.
“Everything Everywhere All at Once” has come in as the lead nominee ahead of the night, with 11 nominations – as disgruntled American film heavyweights are forced to look like they care about a film that focuses on the immigrant experience.
However, it can be expected that the awards will once again be very American – with the possibility of yet another melodramatic melee always on the cards when a room full of overpaid egotistical maniacs are forced to share the limelight with eachother for several hours.
In his opening monologue Kimmel took was quick first veiled reference to Will Smith’s infamous slapping of Chris Rock last year, by making a crack at the amount of Irish nominees, and how that increased the chances of another fistfight.
However, last year’s fireworks are not just a 2023 punchline, but also a very serious consideration for the Academy Award committee – who have invited the most electrifying voicesw in sports entertainment to provide a bit of colour commentary to the evening – in case things pop again.
Known collaquially as ‘JR and King’ – Jim Ross & Jerry ‘King’ Lawler were a commentator team in the World Wrestling Federation/World Wrestling Entertainment that lasted through the 1990s and well into the 2000s – who would often be incorporated into rivalries and matches between the superstars of the franchise.
Their animated commentary of the thrilling violence and drama is synoynmous with the attitude era. As are the famous quotes to come out of the pair.
From the recurring “Bah God!” and “There’s People in There!” to the iconic:
“Does He Have No Conscience? Does He Have No Heart? Do You Have No Soul?” (Summerslam 2002),
“What Did We Just See? What Did We Just See?” (Wrestlemania 27)
“Will Somebody Stop The Damn Match!!!!” (Hell In A Cell ’98)
“Look at the bodies! Look at the carnage! Look at the human rubble!” (Smackdown 2001).
It is hoped that by bringing King and JR out of retirement, the Academy can avoid the sheer awkwardness that filled the room and social media in the wake of last year’s violent brain snap from Will Smith – and instead, present the drama as a treat for the audiences.
At time of press, Australian actor Luke Bracey (Elvis) was seen engaging in a light shirtfronting with former Australian, Tom Cruise (Top Gun: Maverick), who had made derogatory comments about the Manly Sea Eagles Football Club.
“Bah God. Don’t do that Tom!” shouted JR.
“You’re messing with a man’s pride and joy there!”
“The laws of the jungle indeed carrying over to the Dolby Theatre tonight!!”