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If you haven’t been watching the hysterical news coverage, Australia is locked in to build a new fleet of eight nuclear-powered submarines in Adelaide to begin service in the 2040s – as part of a bizarre multinational defence agreement that will cost up to $368 billion by 2055.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced his commitment to the AUKUS plan alongside US President Joe Biden and UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak at the US Navy’s Point Loma base in San Diego on Tuesday.

This extremely expensive military investment is copping bipartisan backlash back home in Australia, for both the grotesque waste of money in the midst of a cost-of-living crisis – as well as the petty war-mongering that comes with being America’s lapdog barking at China.

But is eight submarines really worth it? Could the $368 billion be spent on something more effective – like say, the Prism Towers from Red Alert 2.

In the world of creative defence hardware, the Prism Tower consists of 6 rotating mirrors on the top of a tower. These mirrors are positioned to form a charging chamber to produce a photon beam to be directed by the tower’s top mirror. A single Prism Tower is only just capable or scorching an individual soldier encroaching on Australian soil – However, two or more adjacent prism towers have the ability to combine their beams, increasing the power of the resulting beam. This is done by firing off a beam at another tower’s mirror, often in a chain, after which the final tower that the beam reaches fires an enhanced beam that is proportionally powerful to the number of chained prism towers.

They are particularly effective against heavily armoured tanks, although high-end artileray units outrange them, however. Combining beams from nearby towers creates a blast that can destroy a tank in a single hit. They can also be built in an Allied Construction yard within a matter of seconds for roughly $1500.

But would the immediate construction of 24,000 Prism Towers do a better job at defending our sovereign borders from 1.5 billion Chinese people?

When compared to eight submarines that we won’t get our hands on until Albanese is in a nursing home – the Prism Towers are perhaps a wiser investment

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