The war to save the world has dealt mankind a torturous blow but at what cost?

In what many are calling a step too far, climate protestors have splashed red paint on the iconic Robertson Big Potato in their latest desecration of society’s most highly esteemed pieces of culturally important art.

Standing proud in the NSW Southern Highlands for nearly 50 spudtastic years, the Robertson Big Potato (1977-2023) is a monolithic tribute to Australia’s favourite vegetable, standing at ten metres long and four metres wide.

While critics have previously called the potato ‘bullshit’, ‘a rat turd’ and ‘quite possibly the worst big thing in Australia and I’m including Clive Palmer’ – lovers and dissenters both can agree that the sight of the potato lathered in an oil-based tomato sauce is proof that climate activists will destroy anything sacred to make their point.

“Who puts tomato sauce on a full potato?” asked one Robertson local, their face wet from tears.

“My grandfather was one of the brave men who died during the building of the big potato. He and 11 others are entombed forever within these walls of concrete, fibro and starch. These activists have just desecrated their graves.”

The alleged activist group states they are prepared to destroy millions of potatoes, big or otherwise, if it prevents mass extinction and that they would have super glued themselves to the Big Potato but none of them were that keen to hang around Robertson after dark.

At the time of writing, a troop of armed guards are currently protecting the Big Merino and the Big Boxing Croc.


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