A prominent rural Tasmanian grandmother of two with another on the way has today revealed to our reporters that she is making sure her vote counts, you can bet cha bottom dollar on that.

Bronte Park (67) says after sevoin maybe oight Proime Ministoirs, she’s “had it arp to hoire” – while gesturing to our flawlessly contoured cheekbones.

In fact, Bronte is so had it, she would vote for anyone else.

Luckily she doesn’t have to do that.

Because, for arguably the first time in history, Bronte has a political voice that 100% represents her fears, frustrations and hopes as working class lino-floor feminist from the great Apple Isle.

“And it ain’t this boys club I’m voting for” she says, with flicker of wild Huon pine burning in her iris.

With six boofhead sons looking for work, each with families to raise, Bronte knows a fucking six story art gallery isn’t the only thing Tasmania has been calling out for.

“We noid woirk for woirking people. You ken all hold hands and sing kumbaya, boit the Libs will send the joibs to China, or even worse, the mainland”

And as for Labor.

“Shorten hadn’t visited us since fucken Beaconsfield”

“And that Anthony seems noice but his name is sooo hard to say”

Bronte makes it very bloody clear where she stands on the Vote Compass.

“Jacqui has moi voite soigned, soiled, delivoired.”


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