The Federal Election campaign is expected to go fully feral this week, after poll numbers show the Opposition now outperforming the government 57-43 on the two-party preferred survey.

This is tragic news for people like Rupert Murdoch, whose Australian newspaper monopoly has only survived this long because of the $850 billion tax rebate that Tony Abbott gleefully handed to him in 2015, and of course the Coalition government’s commitment to keeping his cable television empire alive by rolling out the lowest-quality copper wire broadband network in the developed world.

With former Liberal Treasurer Peter Costello now the chairman of Channel Nine and the Sydney Morning Herald, the 2022 Federal Election has become more about journalists trying to catch our leaders out with TikTok-style gotcha questions – rather than any interrogation surrounding the record-breaking levels of corruption and pork barrelling – or the multiple sexual assault allegations levelled towards some of the Prime Minister’s closest allies.

Or they could even ask a question about robodebt – that psychopathic exercise of social cleansing that would have buried any other government ten years ago, before the amalgamation of Australia’s media class and political class.

These new poll numbers are devastating for a number of reasons. One, because they point to the fact that Scott Morrison’s re-election might not be promised to him – like everything else has been throughout his charmed life.

And two, these polls also indicate that Australia’s traditional news outlets might actually be completely irrelevant – if Scotty still cannot win with 90% of the Australian media landscape blatantly cheering him on.

However, this doesn’t mean our media billionaires aren’t going to still try their best, replacing the front pages of every major masthead with Liberal party campaign material, begging Australians to please protect the careers of the fortunate sons that defend their interests.

In fact, the Murdoch and Costello media are so worried about the prospect of the Morrison Government being replaced by a party that doesn’t suck their dicks – that they have even gone as far as wheeling out John Howard to give us a few quotes that hopefully remind voters that the Liberal Party hasn’t always been stacked with fundamental happy clappers who run and hide in Hawaii every time the job gets a bit too hard.

This clear deterioration of a fair and balanced Australian media has now become such a handbrake on democracy that even some of the most stubborn press pack journalists are struggling to defend their practices.

Although, this rare self-awareness does not mean the reporters aren’t taking the criticism personally, and in turn taking their frustrations out on Morrison’s opponents by interrupting major policy announcements with culture-war pop quizzes about whether or not women can have penises.


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