ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison is on the move next month, resigning from politics to take an exciting new role as a leasing agent at Ray White Caringbah.

The move will trigger a by-election in the Federal Division of Cook but Mr Morrison told reporters in Sydney earlier this afternoon that he feels the move is best for his family and the Liberal Party.

It has been widely reported that Mr Morrison has already began working at the Sutherland Shire’s third-most awarded real estate agency. Some prospective tenants of a Caringbah townhouse told The Advocate exclusively that they were taken aback after seeing Scott Morrison standing in the doorway of the David Street home with his trademark grin plastered across his face.

“We climbed up the stairs and there he was, waiting for us,” they said.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes. Our local member, Scotty from Marketing, asking me if I’d registered online for the inspection. I said we hadn’t and he just scoffed. Glad to see he hasn’t lost any of his humour after what happened to him,”

“He was great, though. He asked us when we were looking to move. Asked us if he had any pets. I told him we had a 12-year-old borzoi that’s starting to shit inside again and Scotty’s eyebrows just shot up and he said that might be a tough sell to the owner. Told him I was joking and Scotty just let out a big belly laugh. Honestly, he’s a natural leasing agent. I reckon I made I good impression,”

“Scott was also nice enough to point out, by showing us exactly how, that you can sit on the main shitter and leave the bathroom cabinet ajar in the right place so you can watch TV in the living room through the mirror while you’re on the shitter. You don’t get that kind of service every day, you know. Scott then made a joke that it was the type of luxury only usually afforded to people with colostomy bags, how they can just unclip ’em and chuck ’em out the window, all from the comfort of bed. I thought that was pretty off-colour remark and not that funny but I didn’t say anything because I wanted to keep the rapport going to I had a chance and snagging the rental,”

“He’s not one of them pretentious agents, either. He’s still driving the 2011 Santa Fe and it’s blowing more blue smoke than a third-hand whipper snipper. It’s almost like he just left a tarp over it in the street the whole time he was PM. It’s rooted. Surely it won’t be long until he’s behind the wheel of a new MG or Haval?”

The Advocate reached out to the Office of the Member for Cook for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.


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