A local woman has today taken a gamble and lost, after popping a pimple she deemed ‘a sure thing.’

Jasmine Haynes [22] had been repulsed at first by the sight of the large, red mound pulsating on her chin but says she’d quickly accepted the zit when she noticed the bright yellow head – meaning it was ripe for busting.

“I was pretty excited”, says Jasmine, “as someone who’s been plagued by oily, bumpy skin for years, it’s a bit of a treat.”

Jasmine reveals to The Advocate that she often had to deal with mysterious red bumps, blackheads and blind headed pimples, despite being in her mid-20s and supposedly past that stage of life. Her latest battle, an inflamed zit located squarely in the middle of her chin, has reportedly grown back angrier and redder each time she attempted to squeeze some pathetic ooze from it.

“Busting a blind zit is kind of like going to the casino”, Jasmine muses, “you know there’s a good chance it will only make the problem worse but there’s still some hope.”

“It’s so soothing. Like, I’ve accomplished fuck-all today but I got that sucker out.”

Jasmine says she’d settled down with a hand mirror to get a magnified view of the ‘money shot’ when the pimple failed to blow.

“Well that was disappointing”, says Jasmine, “nothing came out.”

“Not sure if that was worth it turning into a giant, gaping hole for an entire week.”

“There’s always tomorrow.”


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