Betoota Heights-based criminal lawyer, Nick Wilkins is flying a little bit too close to the sun, according to his mates.

In fact, this belief is growing stronger amongst his friendship circle after he divulged an extremely confidential and disconcerting story about one of his clients, who is an underworld figure in our very own town, over a couple of schooners this afternoon.

It is believed that this behaviour has been exacerbated by the double-premiere of Better Call Saul, the popular Stan series which Wilkins has previously cited as a source of inspiration for his legal career.

Based on this trend, his pub etiquette is set to worsen, as new episodes of the show’s fifth season will hit screens in line with the US each week.

In his latest yarn, Wilkins revealed how a high profile Betoota Grove resident, and “very dodgy client”, spent his spare time.

“Deadset boys, his showers are as golden as the paycheques he banks from that ‘laundrette’ out the back of town I was telling you about,” Wilkins said to the quiet horror of his friends.

“But it’s owned on paper by one of those new Australians, that’s why he wasn’t around when the cops dropped by – old mate had no idea what was going on!”

He became increasingly unmindful of his volume with the escalating session, and his recount of the notable Betootan socialite began to garner curious looks from pub patrons,

“Nah, S’all Good-man,” he laughed as a means of reassuring his concerned friends, before stumbling off to take a call.

His departure was followed by a collective sign of disbelief and frustration from the table.

“Jesus Christ, settle down mate,” muttered Keegs, Wilkin’s high school friend who works in accounting.

“I mean, I know he’s loved this shit from back when we used to watch Breaking Bad, but I never thought he’d take it this far.”

Speaking to our reporters after the incident, Keegs revealed this newest story is even bolder than his speculation around the firebombing of a local KFC.  

“In all seriousness, he should be careful reporting that shit back to us, ‘cos I can’t help myself when I’ve had a few neck oils at the schooner shop. My lips get a little loose too, you know.”

“Last week he told us a very rank story about a dealer and some acid – fuck, it still makes me shudder.”

“Now a golden shower. My god.”


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