More than 53,000 homes are tipped to be added to Queensland’s social housing supplies over the next two decades under a new target set by the new State Premier, who seems to have been deeply moved by the Boy Swallows Universe TV series.

The Miles government has this week announced $1.25 billion in funding towards the social housing plan, which will have to build or acquire six new homes every day for the next 22 years if it wants to meet the target.

However, the very real concerns that providing homes for society’s most vulnerable might let some air out of the manipulated Queensland property bubble has put the fear of God into the blessed white collar vultures who benefit from the hyper-competitive housing market.

Real estate lobbyists have already come out claiming that unionised tradies cost too much to be working on houses that nobody is paying for.

It is not yet known if the Queensland Government will allow their policy around providing the basic human right of shelter to low-socio-economic families to be hijacked by the self-interests of an already comically unregulated property industry that wants to be able to do whatever they want without having to ever consider the suffering that this manipulated housing market is causing people who don’t have parents that can help them with a deposit.

However, Premier Miles says that building 53,000 homes ‘will be a cinch’ and that the precious property industry would benefit from talking to some old fashioned builders who are familiar with hammers and nails.

“I’m sick of these cardboard wall shit holes they keep building. One lick of plaint and fuck all parking” said Miles.

“I wouldn’t even live in them if they were subsidised, and these are supposed to be luxury apartments”

Miles then went on to explain his new plan for ‘medium density Queenslander houso towers’.

“What about the old fashioned housos. The timber verandas and and poinciana in the backyard”

“We need to bring back a bit of Queenslander style to social housing. That’s why I’m looking for real builders who can knock up these six story timber numbers”

“We’ll put em down on the riverbank. These stilted things can’t fucken flood. It’s impossible. That’s why they used to build them”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here