WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
New South Wales Police Force have today revealed a ground breaking plan to combat the wave of serious crime that is plaguing the city.
While it’s not exactly what you might think, critics have admitted that it is marvellous in its simplicity.
All it involves, is bashing old people!
Particularly those friendly ones who smile and wave at people for no purpose other than to try and bring some good into the world.
“It’s the key to solving the gangland wars that result in a shooting or a drive by every week or two,” explained a spokesperson from the Police Media Unit.
“If we can combine bashing nice old people who are trying to bring light into the world, with harassing homeless people and strip searching minors then we can hopefully clean this society up.”
The comments come after revelations Sydney identity Danny Lim was hospitalised by NSW Police yesterday.
The widely popular figure suffered serious injuries after being thrown the ground by the cops.
The police were spending their valuable time ignoring actual criminals to arrest the man after security guards at Sydney’s Queen Victoria Building called police to complain about his presence with a sandwich sign that had the word ‘cvnt’ on it.
Lim’s presence at the venue where people are only allowed to spend copious amounts of money like good consumers, was apparently offensive enough to see the cops treat him like a violent criminal.
However, NSW police now believe they’ve uncovered a blueprint moving forward.
“We’ve just sent a 10 cops out to move a homeless person with nowhere to go on from Oxford Street, and the rest of our entire Local Area Command are waiting on any old man to smile at us.”
“The war on drugs and corruption may be over before we know it.”
More to come.