This Saturday marks perhaps the most jam-packed day of of sport in the 2022 calendar.

Right across the nation, TVs and stadiums will be hosting some of the most-watched football matches of the year.

With the Wallabies playing a pointless but significant Bledisloe test against the New Zealand All Blacks, an ever-powerful South Sydney Rabbitohs taking on the unforgiving Penrith Panthers in the NRL semi finals – and of course, the highly-anticipated AFL Grand Final – there is something for everyone.

For some sickos, however, all three matches are equally as important.

Local interior designer Melody Barclay (25) is under the impression that there is only one match of football on this weekend.

“Hey what’s everyone doing this weekend?” she asks her workmates this morning.

“I thought I better at least watch some footy this weekend”

“Sounds like it’s gonna be a hell of a match”

Her colleagues, who range in their footballing loyalties, are confused as to what match she is talking about.

“The big one” she clarifies.

“The one everyone is talking about”

This is not specific enough, her coworkers continue to enquire as to whether Melody knows what she’s signed up for – as a self-confessed sporting novice.

“Haha I don’t know…” she replies.

“My boyfriend just said he’s booked a table for the footy”

“It’ll be me and his mates from some sports group chat. I know a few of them… But yeah thought I’d join in for once haha”

The punters in Melody’s office gasp, as it becomes clear that this supportive girlfriend has unwittingly signed herself up for a very long day of rugby union, rugby league and Aussie Rules.

“Ummm Melody…” says her deskmate, Bruce – as he pulls up a sportsbetting app on his phone and passes it to her.

“I feel like he might not be telling you everything. I think you are going to be spending eight hours in a bar stool with your boyfriend’s punters club”

Melody goes white.

“There’s three types of football?”

Her colleagues nod solemnly.

“…Back to back?” she asks.

They nod again.

Melody has no option to make lemonade out of these lemons.

“Well whose gonna fucken win what? Give me some odds boys”

The degenerate gamblers in her office immediately get to work and begin drafting up a multi that will put the fear of God into her boyfriend and his deadshit mates.


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