EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local woman has this week decided she’s fucking sick of being surprised by her wandering dressing gown ties, and has instead beaten them to the punch by dunking them directly into the toilet.

Laurie Seymour says she’d fallen into a disgusting routine of forgetting about the ties when she visited the loo, only to realise the ends of them were sopping wet as she tied up her dressing gown again.

Torn between throwing the fucking things out or finally seeing some semblance of control over her life, Laurie decided if she was going to be gently grazed by wee wee water, she at least wasn’t going to be surprised about it.

“Yeah look I’m sick of it”, says Laurie, dunking the ties in the toilet like she’s making a cup of tea, “these fuckers find a way of falling in every goddamn time.”

“Well two can play at that game.”

More to come.

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