ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

“Roll your wrists, Joey,” he said.

“Keep your head over the ball, don’t be scared to watch it onto the bat.”

This afternoon, Joey Murchison and his father Mike spent a few hours running through tactics and the like ahead of the planned Christmas Day match against his brother Mark’s family.

One important aspect they covered was Uncle Mark’s merciless around-the-wicket right-arm short balls.

Last year, Mark hit his 11-year-old niece in the grill when she stood up to a nasty bouncer.

Even though Mike took that as a rare opportunity to publically beat his adult brother into mild unconsciousness like it was 1982 all over again, he wants his kids to be prepared.

“If his family is losing, he’ll do it again,” said the Betoota Heights builder.

“And when he does, I want my kids to have the confidence to stand up to the bastard and pull him viciously along the Sir Walter to the bamboo boundary,”

“Because fuck Mark. My daughter Marcy isn’t scared of him anymore. My wife’d beat him about the head with the Kookaburra if she could get away with it. This is what Christmas is all about, enjoying the company of your family while you rip old scabs off.”

Speaking to our reporter shortly after training concluded, Joey said he’s ready for whatever Uncle Mark throws at him.

“I’ve been watching Steve Smith this summer, he’s pretty good and I’ve been trying to copy some of his shots,” said Joey.

“Also, when I’m bowling, Dad told me to walk up to Uncle Mark and tell him to get ready for a broken fucken [sic] arm. I can’t wait to do that. I’m ready.”

More to come.


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