EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local bloke has managed to get out of expanding his cultural horizons this weekend, by suddenly developing a strong interest in the current Russia-Ukraine conflict.

Despite never really showing any interest in world affairs and only offering a few choice words about Putin, Anthony Riordan has seemingly strayed from his usual passive personality, instead decrying that Russia, does in fact, need to be dismantled by everyone boycotting.

Though you’d think this might be ushered from seeing all the news about vodka being poured down the drain, Anthony doesn’t really watch the news – but if his addiction to COD and action movies has shown him anything, it’s how to spot a bad guy.

It’s alleged Anthony was ambushed by his girlfriend to see ‘Anna Karenina’, which would have been the first time the two of them had seen the ballet together. But unfortunately for Sarah, Anthony put his foot down, offering to see a movie – for his conscience, of course,

“Nah babe, we can’t support Russia that way.”

“You’ve got to get them where it hurts. If we saw ballet we’re pretty much funding their war.”

Refusing to acknowledge that there could be a possible ‘other motive’ for him not wanting to watch dancing for two hours, Anthony adds that if you don’t stand for anything, you fall for everything.”

“Nah I just can’t, I’m sorry babe but it’s against my principles.”

“You know who’s not Russian?”

“The new Batman.”

More to come.


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