As Swiftmania continues to take over Australia, the American pop music megastar has flown north from Melbourne and is now staying at the Crown’s presidential villa in Barangaroo until her run of Sydney shows.

Fans who were lucky to get tickets to more than one show are now following the songstress around the country, as crowds brave Sydney’s stormy weather to gather outside her highly guarded accomodation.

However, there has been a plot twist in the iconic Australian tour. With rumours swirling that Taylor Swift’s NFL star boyfriend Travis Kelce may be joining her down under.

As of this morning, the singer’s private jet has once again taken to the skies on a flight bound for Honolulu, without her onboard.

The possibility of the Australian leg of the Eras tour hosting both Swift and her new beau would almost be too much for most Swifties to bare, as the intense fandom culminates with a power coupling of pop music royalty and a multiple NFL championship winning sports superstar.

However, the idea of Taylor Swift going out with a sports star is kind of cringe, according to one of Betoota’s proudest Lana Del Rey fans, Elodie Dubois (32).

While the Taylor Swift fans and Lana Del Rey fans are not exactly sworn enemies, it is undeniable that a cold war does exist between the Swifties and the Lipsters (lip stick hipsters).

The Lipsters remain indifferent to the Eras Tour hysteria, preferring to float in the dreamy themes of psychoamericana nostalgia that can only be found in the baroque pop music lyricism of Lana Del Rey.

While the Swifties think the Lipsters are nihilistic and pretentious, the Lipsters think the Swifties lack any real depth and are no different to the Barbie Movie moths buzzing to a light of blonde feminism.

“I mean… Travis Kelce… Seriously?” chuckles Elodie.

“That’s like… The American equivalent of dating one of those lanky AFL players with a blonde mullet”

When asked what type of public figure she would prefer her musical idol fall in love with, Elodie says basically anything but an NFL tight end.

“Marilyn Monroe used to sleep with mafia bosses” says Elodie.

“Organised crime figures are so hot. Lana would do that”

“Or like, well-dressed American senators. Or even like a President. Obviously as a mistress”

“Or even better. New York gangster rappers dressed up as American Presidents”

“Or, I dunno. Like corrupt horse racing officials from Kentucky”

“Basically anything but that icky white boy with the beard”


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