ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The preliminary investigation into Crown Resorts has uncovered many systematic failures that have seen the company be accused of everything from money laundering to wage theft.

In a short time, a Royal Commission into the nation’s largest casino group will begin and the true state of the company will come to light.

Swathes of board members have resigned in wake of the preliminary investigation but the latest developments from the probe have suggested the gaming titan isn’t even fit to run a chook raffle.

Speaking to The Advocate today, a member of the investigation team outlined just how bad things had gotten at James Packer’s baby.

“They couldn’t even run a fucking chook raffle, mate,” he said.

“Let alone a meat one. I reckon they’d fuck up everything from a meat tray raffle to a trivia night. Honest to God, just you wait to see how bad things really are at Crown,”

“Between you and I – and the readers of your inbred newspaper, I’m glad old Kerry isn’t around to see things. Number one, he’d be ropable. Number two, he’d be embarrassed. And to be honest, I’m embarrassed for Crown. They’ve got that huge new building in Sydney and it just stands as a monument to impotence and incompetence. It’s just sad.”

Our reporter reached out to Crown for comment but has yet to receive a reply, indicating they’d probably fuck that up, too.

More to come.


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