WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man has finally seen the light today, it can be confirmed.
After months of trying to explain the concept of a ‘man drought’ to her husband, Susie Ellardie has finally had a break through.
“He’s finally starting to understand what the girls are saying,” laughed Ellardie, referencing the qualms of some of her frustrated girlfriends.
Ellardie told The Advocate that her husband Mark had been a little perplexed by claims of shortages on the meat market, raising doubt about why his female friends were struggling to find suitable partners.
However, after a lightbulb moment, Susie was able to convey the issue to her somewhat naive hubby.
“Ok, let’s go through your single mates shall we,” laughed Susie.
With Mark nodding at the idea, he offered up a close mate from high school who works some finance job he can’t really explain.
“Tim, Tim’s a good bloke,” said Mark.
“Tim,” laughed Susie.
“Tim’s a gambling addict with poor social skills when he interacts with anyone outside of his school social group.”
“Remember when he just didn’t say a word to the single girl from your work he was sat next to at your birthday dinner?”
“Okay, what about Josh?” asked Mark.
“Yeah, I like Josh but he’s a massive mummy’s boy with no life skills,” retorted Susie.
Mark nodded again.
“Hmmmmmm, okay what about Dale,” said Mark, before immediately correcting himself.
“Yeah, he doesn’t have much of a grasp of hygiene and respect for himself or other people,” sighed Mark, remembering how his mate did a massive shit in the only toilet in his two bedroom apartment without cleaning the atrocious skiddys off the bowl.
“Yeah Mark is loveable,” said Susie.
“If you are hanging out with him for a night. Imagine co-habiting with him.”
After trying to think of the other eligible bachelors he was mates with, Mark then confirmed that what Susie had been trying to say was finally coming through loud and clear.
“I guess there is a bit of a man drought,” he said.
More to come.