EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

While most people can only dream of getting onto the property ladder, one Betoota Heights girl has proven it is possible if you work hard enough and harness the power of determination- managing to nab herself a $500,000 home on the outskirts of the French Quarter district, at the tender age of eight.

The rather unsettling girl, who goes by the name of Sophie Farnsworth, says she saw an opportunity to gain some serious coin after losing a few teeth early last year.

“I got five dollars for my front tooth”, explains Sophie, proving that inflation has also hit the Tooth Fairy as well, “so I thought, what if I had more teeth?”

“That’s when I had an idea!”

Pointing to the cemetery across the road from her house, the pint sized investor explains that she quickly figured there must be a lot of teeth there, and that even though they wouldn’t be as nice and shiny as hers, she figured the Tooth Fairy would still chuck her a few coins.

“It was hard, but I managed to dig two graves a night”, says Sophie, which prompts our reporter to notice how unusually ripped the girl’s arms are, “and did it six days a week.”

“Not on Sundays though, working on the day of Sabbath is a sin.”

Upon noticing our reporter desperately trying to work out the maths, Sophie says she brought in roughly $100K for almost two years of work, which was just enough to get her a mortgage of $400,000.

“I want an investment property next, but in a nicer area.”

“The Tooth Fairy apparently pays twice as much for healthy adult teeth…”

Our reporter offers a tightlipped smile, before politely excusing herself and getting the fuck out of there.

More to come.


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