It’s official, nearly 4 months after the 2023 Indigenous Voice Referendum, and Senator Jacinta Yangapi Nampijinpa Price has expended her political usefulness.

Opposition leader Peter Dutton has today flown to Alice Springs to tell her this face-to-face, in a mark of respect for all of the hard work she put in helping the Coalition undermine the generous proposal offered to Australia by leading Indigenous community leaders in an effort to score cheap political points by degrading the current government – and in turn activating a brave army of online bigots who still plague social media with slurs against Aboriginal people to this day.

While walking through the red centre with his Indigenous subordinate today, Peter Dutton put it to her straight.

“Sassy J” he said in a sombre tone.

“You really did us a solid during the Referendum. Lord knows how we managed to get the media to avoid linking me or Pauline Hanson to the campaign. You and Warren did wonderfully”

“You really did”

Jacinta smiles and nods, assuming this might mean some sort of promotion to the Opposition front bench.

“But unfortunately… This where the road ends”

Jacinta stops in her tracks and scowls, as Peter Dutton backpedals, out of fear he’s about to feel the wrath that Warren Mundine felt behind the scenes whenever he started contradicting her talking points, in their competitive quests for fame.

“For now that is!!!” says Dutton.

“It’s just that, we think we might have a chance of forming government next term. And this is where we need to bring in the.. Umm.. professionals”

Prior to the Vote No Campaign, Price was only really known as a divisive figure within Alice Springs local politics – who occasionally appeared on Sky News to provide contrarian opinions on Indigenous disadvantage that made rednecks feel warm and fuzzy.

However, after being placed in front of every news camera for the entire duration of the $200 million dollar campaign, the 42-year-old became a nationwide household name over night.

In fact, it even got to the point where the nihilistic Coalition voters suggested that she take leadership of the entire Opposition, suggesting that she had much better chance of defeating Albanese at an election than the charisma-vacuum currently running the show.

But it appears that this quickly accumulated political capital and public profile was all for nothing, because we haven’t seen Senator Price once since the euphoric post-Referendum speech.

We haven’t even heard her talk about fixing any of the issues that she said could be fixed without an Indigenous Voice To Parliament.

We’ve heard nothing. It is not certain that this is because the Australian media are running a protection racket around Peter Dutton to protect his leadership from a woman who might not be as willing to do what she’s told by Rupert Murdoch and Kerry Stokes, or that the Liberal Party in themselves haven’t got anything on the cards that she might be able to help with.

“Look” says Dutton.

“If the Trans stuff kicks off again, maybe we can find a place for you in that debate. Talking about change rooms at women’s sporting clubs… That kind of stuff? What do ya think?”

“But for now, us whitefellas will take it from here”


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