CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Considerate Uber passenger, Clare Hurley (22) has gone extra lengths for her 5-star rating early this morning.
Following a lengthy session in Fortitude Valley, Clare felt the thirteen sauv blancs and two vodka red bulls making a dash for her pharynx.
As most young Australians do, after a day at the races – or any other event where they forget to eat – Clare’s instinctual move was to put her face straight into the closest handbag.
“I had pretty important documents in there. But as any girl would know… It just doesn’t matter when the time comes”
“All of my make up is fucked. Everything that is relatively important to my life was in there. I think I’m just going to have tothrow it out”
However, after three relatively solid ‘hurls’ and four to five less dramatic ‘hiccups’ – Clare became aware of the fact that her Longchamp handbag was not going to be able to hold the weight of her insides.
With the driver still under the impression that her petite chunder noises were just drunken tears, she slid her hand towards the window button.
“I got most of it out the window. A little went down the side of the drivers seat but it didn’t touch him”
I got a fair bit on the wrong side of the window too [ha ha ha]”
“But, you know, what the fuck. I was drunk”
The driver, Ashton (45), says he didn’t know what was happening until he heard the God-awful stench.
“I don’t know what she eats. But it don’t smell healthy”
“There were two, three maybe more litres of vomit inside the car. My entire back panels are covered in it too”
“She gets two stars”