ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Opposition leader Peter Dutton has arrived in the nation’s island state today ahead of the Tasmanian election this weekend and is already at work campaigning in Hobart.

Despite the chilly weather this morning, Mr Dutton put on his best beatnik/fauxhemian outfit and hit Hobart’s small bar scene, hoping to win over the educated and well-heeled locals.

Both the Liberals and Labor are in deep shit leading into this election with The Greens and Jacqui Lambie hoping to capitalise on the fact that neither major party has done anything to improve the lives of Tasmanians for close to a generation.

The Liberals have set their sights on metropolitan Hobart in the hope that they’ll form a government with the Lambie Network, leading Mr Dutton to begin campaigning at The Bunghole Bar in the capital’s CBD.

Dressed in a woollen Tom Ford suit with a vintage Hermes turtleneck on underneath, Mr Dutton began by saying Labor has forgotten Tasmania and voting for them will see the state turn into the nation’s appendix.

“Returning the Rockliff Government to power is the only sensible option for Tasmania,” said Dutton as he cracked the heels of his Prada Monolith loafers together.

“Hobart is quickly becoming the new Melbourne. The centre is full of human sewerage and the outer surrounds are where the real Australians live. The ones that aren’t elite or latte sipping. We’re visiting the working class suburbs of Battery Point, Sandy Bay and Dynnyrne this week to send a message not only to Labor but the rest of the country that we are sick of the games they play with us,”

“We are on the coalface of culture here in Hobart. That’s why I’m dressed like a cashed-up international student from Shanghai. Like a beatnik. Because I care about Tasmanians. I don’t even know who the Opposition leader is down here, that’s how much I care. About Labor, that is.”

More to come.


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