ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Producers of prosecco in Europe are demanding local winemakers stop using the name as they look to impose similar “champagne-style” bans on what they see as inferior products that damage the brand.

Prosecco is produced over a large area in Italy spanning nine provinces in the Veneto and Friuli Venezia Giulia regions, and named after the village of Prosecco which is in the province of Trieste.

That’s more of less the reason why, the EU representative says, producers in Australia need to stop using the name and start calling locally-made Prosecco by it’s real name.

“Black Out Juice,” said the EU trade representative in Canberra today.

“There is nobody in this country who enjoys drinking Australian-made prosecco, it is abused like a drug. Like ice and cocaine. I have been here for the Spring Carnival to conduct research. These people, they drink the prosecco until they start acting like they are on ice. It chills my blood, seeing these people drink one of our national products of which we are so proud of to such and extent where they lose control of themselves,”

“That’s why we call it the Black Out Juice because it makes you black out because it’s so impure. We would also accept names such as ‘Brain Varnish’ or ‘Stroke In A Bottle’ – anything to stop these people calling their product prosecco.”

However, one local winemaker has said the demands are rubbish.

Darren Rothery is the manager of the Diamantina’s most award winery, Pogostick Wines, he says he’s tried a lot of inferior prosecco from the very region that’s trying to monopolise the name.

“We have a prosecco that we produce here in Betoota. It’s won three gold medals at the winemaking version of the APRA awards. It’s called ‘Woo Girl Aneurysm’ and it retails for an affordable $8.99 a bottle down at Dans,” he said.

“It’s a natural wine, it’s a bit on the wild side but the tasting notes let you know. Some reviewers have said it tastes like what putting your tongue in a powerpoint would. They could’ve just said sharp or acidic but they just had to put the boot in,”

“The aftertaste of diesel is also not accurate but for $8.99, you can expect these uptown boy wine reviewers to throw a few stones in their ivory tower.”

More to come.

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