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As the 2021 Rugby League World Cup continues in Northern England, Australia’s premiere NRL stars are growing used to staying in hotels that remind them of their under 15s state rep accomodation.

On top of playing on football ovals reminiscent of concrete hockey courts, the best rugby league footballers in the world are now well aware of the fact that their game is clearly at its strongest back home in Australia.

The realisation that they might be the best in the world has only been concreted this week, after Australia’s World Cup Side pumped Scotland 84-0 in the West Midlands on Saturday.

The Aussie footballers have since taken to social media to post photos of themselves dolled up in Peaky Blinders style outfits, hitting the tiles in Northern England while kitted out in paddy caps and tartan suits.

However, there is one integral member of the Kangaroos squad who appears to be missing in action.

Debutant second-rower, Angus ‘The Temora Terror’ Crichton appears to have withdrawn from the post-match festivities and is instead hanging out with some new mates he has made in County Durham, in North-East England.

According to several witnesses, it is believed that after two weeks in the North, the Sydney Roosters enforcer has discovered his latent passion for dance – after accidentally wandering into a youth ballet class in an old wooden gymnasium while looking for a bench press set.

It is believed that Australia coach Mal Meninga was furious upon hearing the news that Crichton has let himself be distracted by the elegant artform, and has since banned him from attending any more classes.

However Crichton has reportedly found himself immersed in ballet, demonstrating the kind of raw talent seldom seen by the class’ exacting instructor, Mrs. Wilkinson whose zest for teaching dance has been revived by the hulking footballer’s potential.

In the backdrop of devastating mining strikes and the abject poverty of Northern England, the 26-year-old Angus Crichton must now live a double life as a promising ballet dancer – while also keeping his newfound love of dance a secret from both Meninga and the villainous Roosters CEO Nick Politis – who he has just signed another two year contract with.

MORE TO COME.

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