LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In an event that has angered many the owner of a saggy, white ballsack, Time Magazine presented teenage climate change activist Greta Thunberg with their Person of the Year.
The Time Person of the Year issue has been released annually since 1927 and is regarded as being an event of such cultural significance that you probably can’t even remember who won it the last couple of years.
Although protestors in Hong Kong have trained hard all year to take the title home, the New York-based magazine decided to bestow the title to a 16-year-old who found a crafty way of getting out of school whilst reminding us we’re all fucked.
However, this has not sat well with anyone who is more threatened by a child than they are greenhouse gases such as Gary from Tamworth who took to social media to declare his opposition to this title that doesn’t even come with any prize money.
“Why can’t kids be kids instead of some tool for the left and wtf did you not care about the Hon Kong protestors? How dare they! (get it??)”
Following this, Time Magazine has now for the first time revoked their Person of the Year title from Thunberg and has released a statement apologising to Gary from Tamworth as well as anyone who saw their latest issue as being a direct attack on their manhood.
In the statement Time Magazine outlined how their selection criteria will change, allowing Donald Trump to possibly receive the title as he did previously in the publication’s callout to how greatly he had divided the USA.