LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In Betoota Ponds, a local teenager might have a lot more behind him than Betoota Ponds Independent Fuel.
Standing out the front of the Betoota Ponds Service station, teenager Braden Decker (14) enjoyed a litre of energy drink, a grave flavoured XXXL vape, and a nearly drought ending amount of spits.
In fact, witnesses report at one point Decker spat no less than nine times in a minute for an average of one spit every 6.67 seconds.
“It wasn’t just the fact that he was spitting, it was how he was spitting,” said servo worker Cameron Hall, who was so consumed with Decker’s spitting.
“They were really long wet spits. I’d have to suck my cheeks for a full minute to get that much going.”
“He was pumping it out like a bubbler, but not a pissy one, like those sharp ones you get on fountains in posh shopping centres.”
“Seriously, I had to go put up a yellow caution triangle because I didn’t want any customers slipping in it.”
“I went to go ask him to move along but when he looked at me his dark eyes seemed to pulse with this angry agony, as if he’d seen the future and understood how doomed we all are.”
Hall then went on to explain how before moving on Decker launched a final saturating spit that landed right between the attendant’s feet and is still not sure whether it was a precise aim or a near miss.